MARKED OUT! …checked out… RAW 03/25/13

MARK OUT: To temporarily forget that wrestling is fake because something cool happened. Urban Dictionary

CM PUNK PROMO: MARKED OUT!

So Punk opens the show, and you know I’m never mad at that. He comes out and talks about how he’s the best in the world and WILL give the Undertaker his first WM loss ever, and when he begins to tell ‘Taker that he will “rest in peace,” ‘Taker appears out of nowhere and begins to pummel Punk. It’s about time they got physical, but I would have like to have seen more of them throughout the night. Only one spot? At least it was strong enough to get the show going. NEXT.

FANDANGO vs WHOEVER (didn’t happen): MARKED OUT!

It’s #WASTEdango facing someone (that they never even named as an opponent)…so I started to check out, when out of LEFT FIELD comes Y2J to send Fandango back to the locker room with a beating. I marked at Jericho’s interruption and overall presence in the ring. He’s just freaking good.

CHRIS JERICHO def. DOLPH ZIGGLER: MARKED OUT!

Again, another great match between these two guys. I’ll never get tired of watching it. The Lion Tamer (yes it was an old fashioned Lion Tamer, not the regular Boston crab Walls of Jericho) looked phenomenal. Great finish, and it surprised me honestly. After the match, with Langston dropping Jericho and Fandango coming back out I got worried, but the rest of the segment was awesome. #WASTEdango dropped a NASTY guillotine leg drop on Y2J. Not sure what they’re going to call that move…something ridiculous from the world of dance I’m sure, but it looked sweet. I’m actually interested in seeing this match April 7^th now. Way to mind eff me WWE.

THE SHIELD attacks SHEAMUS backstage: MARKED OUT!

Sheamus gets railed, then Orton gets railed, then Show saves the day to further his face turn for this match. Solid, not great, but solid.

MARK HENRY def. THE USOs: MARKED OUT!

Henry is a monster. This match actually went longer than I thought it would too. Loved the constant beating he laid on them the entire time.

*United States Champion* ANTONIO CESARO def. *World Heavyweight Champion* ALBERTO DEL RIO via count out: …checked out…

WHO CARES? Swagger came out, and it woke me up from the borefest I was watching before that, but it didn’t save the segment for me. I guess the only plus side is that Cesaro didn’t lose this week. Del Rio got in the ring and let loose like a true heel though after his loss was announced…and it confuses me. He doesn’t act like a babyface half the time, and he’s just not getting over. Not working for me…and from what I hear online…it’s not working for ANY ONE. Next…

*Tag Team Champions* TEAM HELL NO def. PRIME TIME PLAYERS: …checked out…

Seen it…no titles on the line…again…so I just don’t care. Those titles mean nothing. They’ve taken on this team a THOUSAND times now, but Ziggler and Langston get the title shot and they’ve NEVER wrestled together…makes ZERO chance. Ugh. NEXT!

TRIPLE H promo: MARKED OUT!

Short and sweet. Consistent to say the least. “I’m the ass kicker…and I’m going to kick your ass.” It’s what we’ve been getting every week from him, so I can’t say I hated it, but I would have like to have seen more from Heyman or Vince or someone else with HHH.

THE MIZ def. *Intercontinental Champion* WADE BARRETT: …checked out…

What a terrible match. This thing was HORRIBLE. Miz gets the victory after some of the WORST wrestling I’ve seen in a while, and he does so with his “Figure Four,” or as I like to call it, the “Figure Botch.” It might seriously be the worst Figure Four I’ve ever seen week in and week out. My 2 year old nephew knows how to slap on a better one than Miz. Horrendous. Next!

THE SHIELD def. ZACK RYDER / GREAT KHALI / JUSTIN GABRIEL: MARKED OUT!

Love the Shield, and I loved that they actually beasted Khali with a triple powerbomb. Impressed me once again. Of course the face team of Sheamus, Orton, and Show had to come out and run them off, but the match was pretty good considering who the Shield was facing, the new JOB SQUAD of Khali, Ryder, and Gabriel. Ugh.

TEAM RHODES SCHOLARS def. SWEET T / BRODUS CLAY: …checked out…

I loved Sandow’s promo pre-match…but this match was terrible. Over it…drastically. Please release Albert and Clay…or give them new gimmicks. This dancing shtick is just awful.

RYBACK def. 3MB: MARKED OUT!

Hell just got chilly…cause I actually enjoyed a Ryback match last night. 3MB hit some great spots with the guy, followed by and encounter with Henry, so overall, I actually enjoyed a #RyHack segment. There has only ever been a few, this is one of them.

AJ LEE def. KAITLYN via count out: …checked out…

Ugh. Piss break. NEXT!!!!

JOHN CENA / *WWE Champion* THE ROCK Q&A Segment: …checked out…

How….long….was….this….segment? 45 minutes with a 22 minute overrun portion? Dreadful. The first 25 minutes of this thing was a pseudo-love fest between Cena and the Rock, THEN they start getting in the trash talk and try to make the fans believe they have beef again… YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING THIS SINCE BEFORE ELIMINATION CHAMBER!!!! THEN people would actually CARE about this match, but at the moment, the fans, and even the WWE believe that the ‘Taker/Punk match is more important that the WWE Title match. You can see it in the promotion. No one cares about Rock/Cena. No one. This segment gets a 4/10 from me AND Bret Hart this week. Ugh.

RAW 03/25/13 OVERALL: …checked out…

Aside from a few segments I really liked, I hated the fact that we got THIS program 2 weeks out from WrestleMania. Two weeks away, and we get mediocrity at its finest. Wow. I really hope the go-home show next week sells this thing to me and other fans, because the $70 price tag on the event this year is just steep enough to make me question the purchase, and if I don’t get a little more excited about what I’m going to be paying for, I think that money will stay in my wallet this year.

Follow Doug McDonald on Twitter and tune in to RSM WEEKLY this Thursday night LIVE at 7pm EST on www.ringsidemanners.com. 

TNA World Title Rematch Set for 4/11 IMPACT LIVE!

Terry Funk Confirmed to Induct Mick Foley into WWE Hall of Fame