MARK OUT: To temporarily forget that wrestling is fake because something cool happened. Urban Dictionary
*World Heavyweight Champion* ALBERTO DEL RIO def. BIG SHOW: …checked out…MARKED OUT!…checked out…
I had no excitement for this match from the word “go”, and the pace it started out with made me instantly start checking out. I went to Twitter and read what everyone was saying about the match rather than watching the first 5 minutes. After realizing that I wasn’t really giving it a chance, I started paying attention. Del Rio started trying to wear down Show with moves to set up the Armbar, and I started marking out at the back and forth between them.
Just as I started to get into the match however, Show held Ricardo’s bucket up next to his head in an obvious, “I’m waiting on Del Rio to kick this,” fashion, only to have the World Heavyweight Champion BOTCH an enziguri off of the turnbuckle. Del Rio then gets up after his epic FAIL, and attempts it again…and Show (being the good sport he is) kept standing there holding a bucket next to his head like an IDIOT so that Del Rio could have his second chance. The kick connects, and ADR slaps on the Cross Armbreaker again and gets the MONSTER GIANT to tap. Checked out instantly with the botched enziguri, and never checked back in. Terrible ending to the match. NEXT please.
*US Champion* ANTONIO CESARO def. THE MIZ via DQ: …checked out…
I love Cesaro’s ring work, and I was looking forward to this match following the beating he put on Miz last Monday night…but once it started…I found myself checking out. Miz is the ultimate FAILING babyface…and Cesaro is failing to get over period. He’s got amazing talent, but is getting ZERO reaction from the crowd. He needs help developing his character. No one really cares about what he says, so they check out when they see him.
This match didn’t hold my attention, AND the ending was AWFUL. I understand that Cesaro causing the Miz to get DQ’d will probably keep their feud running until WrestleMania 29, but this was DEFINITELY a waste of a match in my opinion. These are two characters that aren’t really getting over with the fans, and I don’t think this match did anything to help either of them. Most of the fans, even the ones watching in the room with me, were initially confused with the finish. Waste. NEXT!
#1 CONTENDER ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH: MARKED OUT!
From the always dramatic descent of the chamber over the ring, to the final shot of the victorious Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter on the stage, I was into this match. Swagger/Coulter’s promo led me to believe that Swagger had a VERY good shot at winning the whole thing (seeing as though it is obvious Swagger/Coulter’s stance is against “illegal immigration/foreigners stealing America”). Not sure why WWE Creative feels like fans are going to care about a Swagger/Del Rio program, especially going into WrestleMania, but time will tell I guess.
Henry was a beast in this match. Marked out for his hunger for destruction. Orton, Jericho, Bryan, and Kane performed terrifically in the Chamber as well. I enjoyed this one, maybe not as much as previous Chambers, but it was still VERY entertaining.
THE SHIELD def. JOHN CENA / SHEAMUS / RYBACK: MARKED OUT!
I loved this match. The Shield just keeps getting chances to shine as individual performers, AND as a team. Each member of the Shield has a different style, but they each work so seamlessly with each other. They looked like ring veterans during this match. I was a Shield mark the entire match, especially with the spear finish.
Kudos to WWE Creative for realizing the Shield needed this victory. Cena wasn’t the won that got pinned, so he was kept “strong” going into WrestleMania. The actual “loss” goes to RyHACK, who continues to lose big matches. I believe in the Shield, and I believe this match was the best one on the card because of them.
DOLPH ZIGGLER def. KOFI KINGSTON: MARKED OUT!
Dolph originally wasn’t booked on the Elimination Chamber card, so he hit the ring and cut a great promo complaining about it. Booker T then comes out and sets up an impromptu match between Ziggy and Kingston. Great work between the two of them, as usual, with Dolph hitting the Zig Zag for the win.
Big E Langtson then hit the ring and DESTROYED Kingston for no good reason, but it entertained me. I’m a sucker for the heels. So, for me, useless heel-on-face violence = mark out. Plain and simple.
*Divas Champion* KAITLYN def. TAMINA SNUKA: …checked out…
Really? This match killed ANY momentum the show had going into the main event. WHY was this match between Ziggler/Kingston and the WWE Title match?!?! Kaitlyn is good lookin, but that’s not enough to get me to be even the LEAST bit interested in this contest. What this match did was give me time to take a bathroom break and refill my drink. Waste times 2. NEXT!!!
*WWE Champion* THE ROCK def. CM PUNK: MARKED OUT!
Punk came out with the title and still acted like he was the champion. I love this. I’m not happy about Punk getting removed from the WWE Title picture over the next few weeks, but hopefully he’ll get back there immediately following WrestleMania. I predicted a swerve finish to this match, but Creative decided that the obvious finish was the best option. The Rock wins clean after Punk hits Heyman with the Title. A Rock Bottom sealed the deal and sets up Rock/Cena at WM29…leaving Punk for what? I’m not sure, but this match was solid. I wish we would get more out of these two working each other, but sadly, we won’t.
2013 ELIMINATION CHAMBER PPV OVERALL: MARKED OUT!
I marked out for about 2/3 of this show and would probably give it a 3.5 out of 5 as far as entertainment goes. I don’t like how the other titles (anything that is NOT the WWE Title) continue to lose relevance. The matches I checked out on the most were those title matches. Thankfully the other matches that were booked, especially the Shield vs. Supermen tag match, were fantastic and the PPV ultimately proved worth the price tag.
We’re now officially on the “Road to WrestleMania”, and each storyline will begin to pick up steam tonight LIVE on RAW on the USA Network, 8pm EST. Enjoy the show and follow me on Twitter, as I’ll be tweeting live throughout the night.
Follow Doug McDonald on Twitter and don’t forget to come back to Wrestling Rumors every Tuesday for the MARKED OUT!…checked out… RAW edition.
