MARKED OUT! …checked out… RAW 05/06/13

MARK OUT: To temporarily forget that wrestling is fake because something cool happened. Urban Dictionary

JOHN CENA / RYBACK / VICKIE GUERRERO promo: …checked out…

Cena came out to open the night to a HUGE kiddie pop. Must have been a lot of kids in Roanoke like there was in Greenville. At the end of his god-awful goofy promo, Vickie comes out and mutters some gibberish about stipulations. She seriously couldn’t form complete sentences last night. So weird.

Ry’Hack then comes out and delivers the usual snarls…jaw movements…and ”someone farted” face. Talks a lot of nonsense too. I seriously believe that Ryback NEEDS a mouthpiece, because I’m just not digging his “Ultimate Warrior” style of mic work. He sets the stipulation to a Last Man Standing match in an incoherent way, segment over. Didn’t care about any of it. Next.

RANDY ORTON def. DAMIEN SANDOW: MARK OUT!

Sandow’s rendition of Orton’s theme song was amazing. This guy is gold and I’ll tell you why. It doesn’t matter if he’s winning or losing, he sells moves like a champ, can work with just about anyone, and is entertaining as hell. I’d love to see Sandow move into the World Heavyweight Title picture sooner than later.

Orton hit a great RKO for the W, then was destroyed by the Big Show. Safe to say they have a match at Extreme Rules now…what will the stipulation be?

R-TRUTH def. FANDANGO via count-out: …checked out…

Jericho comes out first and says he has a judge panel for Fandango’s match, which is himself and the Tons of Funk. Just as the match looks like it is going to be a victory for R-Truth, Fandango rolls out of the ring and walks out on the match. Of course this gives Truth the victory anyway, but gives ‘Dango that douchey “I don’t have to do this” persona. Liked it, didn’t love it.

ALBERTO DEL RIO def. *World Heavyweight Champion* DOLPH ZIGGLER via DQ: MARKED OUT!

This was a great match, and honestly made me actually excited for the Triple Threat match coming in 2 weeks at Extreme Rules. I had the thought that it could be good, but then the set up by everyone last night made me really want to see it. Let’s hope they can sell the match even more next week.

THE SHIELD def. KOFI KINGSTON / THE USOS: MARKED OUT!

I believe in the Shield, and usually MARK OUT for whatever they do. This wasn’t their BEST match, but was still entertaining and enjoyable. Dean Ambrose almost killed Kingston with his finisher. Deifnitely MARKED OUT at that moment.

ANTONIO CESARO def. ZACK RYDER: …checked out…

Why would I be invested in this match? Are you pushing Cesaro or not? So confusing. I liked Cesaro’s promo after the match, but that was about it. The uppercut, and the promo.

PAUL HEYMAN / BROCK LESNAR attack WWE Corporate Offices, TRIPLE H responds: MARKED OUT!

Heyman made this awesome. Triple H came out after the footage of Lesnar destroying “his office” (was clearly a make shift office) was shown, and just didn’t do much for me. However, Paul Heyman’s commentary during the “attack” and response to HHH was awesome. He’s one of the best minds in the business today. Great job.

*Divas Champion* KAITLYN / FUNKADACTYLS def. BELLA TWINS / AJ LEE: …checked out…

Yawn. Next.

SHEAMUS def. WADE BARRETT: MARKED OUT!

I didn’t MARK OUT at the Sheamus/Barrett match…I MARKED OUT to the presence and charisma of Mark Henry. Henry stole the show for me. I was engaged during everything he said or did. He’s gone from a worker who couldn’t engage the crowd hardly ever, to being one of the best in connecting to the fans. Loved his roll throughout this segment.

RYBACK def. KANE: …checked out…

I wasn’t a big fan of this one. It was ok, but not great. Ryback literally received zero response the entire night until the end of this one when he hits Cena with the chair. FINALLY he pulls a real heel move. Hopefully now he starts getting the heat the WWE wants a heel to get. Overall though, the match was a 5.5/10 at best and wasn’t enough to make me invested in it.

RAW 05/06/13 OVERALL: …checked out…

Aside from a few spots…last night was boring to me. The 3 hours felt like 6. Without the quality of matches like we had LAST week on Raw…the show becomes a silly filler program. Stupid filler segments and little to no storyline or PPV build. Ugh.

We have 1 more Raw until Extreme Rules. I’m only excited about the WHC Ladder Match and the Lesnar/HHH Steel Cage match at this point. I’m spending money on this one…SELL IT TO ME WWE! Book the Shield/Team Hell No and give it an awesome stipulation like TLC or something. Make me invest more. Please.

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