Did the WWE Rise to the Occasion with the 2017 Royal Rumble?

Royal Rumble is dubbed the “beginning of the road to WrestleMania.” The WWE makes sure you don’t forget that. It’s also the first pay-per-view of the calendar year for the company. As such, it should feel like a big momentous thing, and it kind of does. However, that’s because of the Royal Rumble match. The fact is the WWE exists in a perpetual cycle. As they used to remind us in a series of ads, the WWE has no offseason. It just moves forward and moves forward from one feud to the next. The Royal Rumble isn’t the start of anything. It’s just another step in a road that began years ago. Nevertheless, just because the trappings of the Rumble exist on false pretenses, it doesn’t mean it isn’t a notable PPV. So how did the 2017 version stack up? Here’s a rundown of every match, judged in the classic thumbs up/thumbs down fashion made famous by Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel.

Nikki Bella, Naomi, and Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss, Mickie James, and Natalya: The first match of the preshow got every Smackdown woman saved for Carmella in one match. It was James’ first real action since returning to WWE, but she didn’t really get a chance to do much. It was a fine match, even if it didn’t really feel like it had much in the way of stakes. Naomi got the pin on Alexa. For a champion, Alexa sure seems to get beat cleanly quite often. This at least helps put a little fire behind the likely feud between Naomi and Alex that’s coming. Thumb in the middle

Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows vs. Cesaro and Sheamus for the RAW Tag Team Championship: This match had a hook, but that hook was that there was two referees, which is barely a hook, although it’s still better than a blindfold match. One of those refs, naturally, takes a bump, leaving us with only one ref, who proceeds to miss Anderson hooking the tights while pinning Cesaro. So yes, Anderson and Gallows are now, finally, champs. That’s good. They were introduced to the WWE audience as a force to be reckoned with, so to see them come up short over and over was threatening to marginalize them. It also probably serves RAW well to have heels as champs. The match was good, naturally, considering the four men working it. However, anytime a belt changes hands because a guy got rolled up, held tights or not, it feels kind of lame. Thumb in the middle

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks: This match was a squash, so we will give it as much time as it gave us. Did it make Nia look formidable? Sure. Can they really do anything with that, and does anybody care? Not really, and Banks looks bad in the process. Thumbs down

Charlotte vs. Bayley for the RAW Women’s Championship: This was the first match of the Rumble proper, and Bayley’s popularity with the audience really helped get people geeked for the show. To the surprise of presumably nobody, Charlotte kept her silly pay-per-view winning streak going. While that’s a goofy thing for the WWE to shove down our throats, it’s easier to take because Charlotte’s so great in the ring. Bayley’s good too, of course, but Charlotte is a true star. Kudos to her for taking a shot to the mouth that made her bleed and not losing a step. Charlotte winning also allows for Bayley’s underdog story to be further strengthened, so when Bayley finally wins the title, it will be that much sweeter for the fans. Thumbs up

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns for the WWE Universal Championship: It was smart for the WWE to make this a No Disqualification match, because even those smarks despise Reigns, they’ll still cheer for him setting up a table in the ring. Chris Jericho being above the ring didn’t come into play much, but it was still an amusing sight to behold. There were a few big spots, including Owens being dropped down on a pyramid of chairs he had set up. The ending was lackluster. Braun Strowman showed up to beat up Reigns, allowing Owens to retain the title. Since Owens, is a heel, it kind of works, but it was a bit out of left field, even if it does further ensconce Strowman in the main event scene. For all its big spots though, it was still fun. Thumbs ever so slightly up

Neville vs. Rich Swann for the Cruiserweight Championship: While fans may not necessarily be too into the cruiserweights, these two guys know how to work a match. They put on a good show with some big spots, and in the end Neville, the self-proclaimed “King of the Cruiserweights,” won the title. The revolving door policy the WWE is taking with the cruiserweight title is maybe a bit much, but Neville is a worthy champion. Hopefully he’ll actually hold the title for a little while this time, though. Also, maybe one of these days a cruiserweight can win a title not using a submission move? It runs counter to the whole “high flying” ethos we were promised. Thumbs up

John Cena vs. AJ Styles for the WWE Championship: Look, it’s a match with AJ Styles in it. You know it’s going to be good. However, whenever Cena takes on Styles, Cena takes his game to the next level. No “Five Moves of Doom” here. It was somewhat reminiscent of their great Summerslam match, so it did have a little bit of a déjà vu feeling to it. That being said, that’s a minor quibble. This is a match where Cena slapped a (well-done) figure four on Styles. It was the kind of match where both guys get to kick out of each other’s finishing moves. Cena won, but it felt right, because it was clear the match was about two guys giving it their all. At this point, the smark ardor falls at the feet of Reigns, so Cena gets to be a kind of divisive guy that people seem to root against just for the fun of it. This was the match of the night. Thumbs up

Royal Rumble Match: There are some wrestling fans who will tell you that the Rumble is exciting, but not because of the wrestling. The match is too chaotic and features a bunch of rest holds and so on. That wasn’t really the case in this year’s Rumble. The action in the ring was quite good, at least until the end. For a while nobody was really getting eliminated, until Braun Strowman showed up. Strowman got to eliminate a bunch of guys, but then he got eliminated clean, which was pretty much perfect. Tye Dillinger from NXT showed up. There were a couple good comedy pieces. Then, Brock Lesnar’s music hit, and the Rumble took on a very different tone. Lesnar eliminated a couple guys, and beat everybody up, but then Goldberg showed up to eliminate him immediately. Then The Undertaker showed up to eliminate Goldberg.

Finally, the last entrant was ready to hit the ring…and it was Roman Reigns. This was disappointing when it happened, and not just because it meant there was no Samoa Joe or Finn Balor or what have you. This was not a Rumble of surprises. The clear draws were Lesnar, Goldberg, and Taker. However, what was really disappointing about Reigns’ appearance was that it seemed clear he was going to win, which would have been lame. After Chris Jericho, who was in the match for the longest of anybody, was eliminated, it was just down to Bray Wyatt, Randy Orton, and Reigns. At this point, it definitely seemed like Reigns was headed to WrestleMania. Then Wyatt was eliminated. Then…Orton hit Reigns with an RKO, and Orton eliminated Reigns. Yes, Randy Orton won the 2017 Royal Rumble.

This was, needless to say, a bit of a surprise. After returning to action Orton hasn’t really been in the main event scene. He got bloodied by Lesnar, who keeps getting obliterated by Goldberg. Then he joined the Wyatt Family, where he isn’t even the leader. He certainly didn’t seem in line to main event the biggest pay-per-view of the year, despite his impressive resume. Yet here we are. Orton winning was genuinely unexpected, which is a plus, and the match was mostly quite good. It wasn’t until the end that things got rushed and muddled, and by then guys like Lesnar, Goldberg, and Undertaker were in the ring. It wasn’t a perfect Rumble, but it was satisfying. Thumbs up

What did you think of the 2017 Royal Rumble? Let us know in the comments, and check out the Wrestling Rumors Facebook page