Date: March 15, 2019
Location: Sam’s Town Hotel & Gambling Hall, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews
Things are rolling along as usual around here, which means a lot of the same stories that kind of need to go somewhere already. That’s one of Impact’s biggest problems and it’s been the case for years: they don’t seem to know how wrap up stories so things just keep going on and on for months. Hopefully we get some advancement soon because the good things that they have are rapidly approaching their expiration date. Let’s get to it.
Standard opening recap.
OVE vs. Rich Swann/Willie Mack/Tommy Dreamer
It’s a brawl to start with Swann and Callihan being left in the ring until Rich kicks him to the floor. The good guys are left inside until it’s Dreamer and Sami starting things off, allowing Callis to talk about Dreamer sticking his nose into everything. Mack comes in to work on Jake’s arm and Dreamer adds a bottom rope ax handle. Dave takes over on Dreamer and it’s off to Sami for an elbow drop.
The Cactus Piledriver is countered though and it’s a catapult to send Sami into the corner. Mack comes back in for a powerslam and the standing moonsault, followed by a nip up. Dreamer drops an elbow and does his version of a nip up, leaving Mack and Swann to do their dives.
Instead of diving, Dreamer runs to the apron and climbs down for some right hands. Back from a break with Swann fighting out of Sami’s chinlock but getting caught in Jake’s reverse Rings of Saturn.
With that broken up, Dave works on the leg until a kick to the head lets Dreamer get the hot tag. Sami comes in to spit in Dreamer’s face as everything breaks down. Dreamer knocks all three of them into a corner for a running cannonball from Mack, and it’s stereo frog splashes onto the Crists. Tommy even hits his own splash onto Sami but Callihan pops up and hits the Cactus Piledriver for the pin at 19:03.
Result: OVE b. Tommy Dreamer/Willie Mack/Rich Swann – Cactus Piledriver to Dreamer (19:03)
Brian Cage asks Johnny Impact, in a neck brace, if he’s ready for tonight. Johnny says he’ll be there.
Video on Impact vs. Cage, with the title on the line tonight.
The Rascalz are in their circle when Moose joins them and wonders what’s up with Melissa Santos. Moose punches them all for making fun of his clothes.
Here’s Glenn Gilbertti to call out Scarlett Bordeaux, who he fights next week. Instead he gets a clown.
Glenn Gilbertti vs. Kikutaro
He’s a Japanese comedy guy in a mask. They fight over arm control to start with Kikutaro stopping to dance. Some shoulders don’t work so Glenn punches him down and whips Kikutaro across the ring over and over. The chinlock goes on for all of two seconds so Glenn slams him down but misses the Village People’s Elbow (with a YMCA dance). Kikutaro hits part of a Shining Wizard but a missed moonsault lets Glenn hit the Chartbuster (Stunner) for the pin at 4:23.
Result: Glenn Gilbertti b. Kikutaro – Chartbuster (4:23)
Taya Valkyrie isn’t worried about defending the Knockouts Title because her husband is in danger tonight.
Reno Scum vs. KM/Fallah Bahh
Rematch from a few weeks ago when Scum lost but beat them up after the match. It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Scum taking over and sending Bahh into the steps. KM gets punched in the corner until an enziguri drops Luster. There’s no Bahh though, meaning KM has to clothesline Thornstowe down before making the real hot tag. The Samoan drop gets two on Thornstowe, followed by Luster going shoulder first into the post. That’s enough for Bahh to hit a belly to belly for the pin on Thornstowe at 4:32.
Result: KM/Fallah Bahh b. Reno Scum – Belly to belly to Thornstowe (4:32)
Konnan asks the Lucha Bros when they’re giving LAX their rematch. That’s not happening so Konnan threatens them as they leave.
Post break Konnan tells them that there’s no rematch yet. LAX doesn’t seem worried because it’s going to be a street fight.
Tessa Blanchard vs. Jordynne Grace
#1 contenders match. Tessa can’t do much with the power to start so Jordynne runs her over with a clothesline. The threat of a splash in the corner makes Tessa pull the referee in front of her, meaning it’s a hard forearm to Jordynne’s face. The hanging Downward Spiral is countered but Tessa grabs the Codebreaker for two instead. That kickout doesn’t sit well with Tessa so she hammers away but walks into a spinebuster.
Back from a break with Tessa unloading with forearms until a Michinoku Driver gets Jordynne out of trouble. A Muscle Buster is broken up and Tessa hits some kind of a swinging reverse DDT. Tessa goes up but spends too much time talking about Gail Kim, allowing Grace to slam her down. An elbow to the face staggers Jordynne but she’s right back with the Grace Driver (pumphandle driver) for the pin at 10:21.
Result: Jordynne Grace b. Tessa Blanchard – Grace Driver (10:21)
Tessa sells the heck out of the driver and barely moves. After she finally gets up, Tessa snaps, yells about Kim some more and beats up the timekeeper. Gail Kim comes in for the save and clears the ring.
United We Stand ad.
Tessa yells at Scott D’Amore and demands something be done about Gail. Speaking of Gail, she comes in and yells as well, earning herself a suspension.
United We Stand rundown.
GWN Flashback Of The Week: Brian Cage vs. Eli Drake from last year’s Lucha Underground vs. Impact show.
Rosemary tries to get inside Allie’s head and find the Bunny. Allie says it’s gone and laughs because Rosemary looks pathetic. Rosemary: “WHERE’S THE BUNNY?”
Callihan yells about Swann turning his back on OVE. Now he’s going to take everything from Swann, starting with the X-Division Title next week.
Desi Hit Squad vs. Eddie Edwards/Eli Drake
Eddie and Raj start things off and trade some right hands before it’s off to both partners. It’s already back to Edwards to chop Raju, who brings Raj back in for a flapjack into a sliding knee from Raju. A jumping Downward Spiral gets two and Eli gets knocked off the apron. That’s too much for him so he comes in sans tag to beat up the Squad, which amazingly enough isn’t all that hard. Gama Singh gets on the apron for a distraction so Drake throws in Kenny, allowing Eddie to knock Raju cold for the pin at 5:21.
Result: Eddie Edwards/Eli Drake b. Desi Hit Squad – Kendo stick to Raju (5:21)
Impact Wrestling World Title: Johnny Impact vs. Brian Cage
Impact is defending and comes out first…being carried unconscious on Killer Kross’ back. Kross has a cinder block with him too and grabs a chair for a bonus. Security runs in and gets beaten up so Kross can put Johnny’s head against the block. Taya tries to bring Cage in for the save but he stays on the ramp as Cage yells at Taya instead. Cage finally comes in and takes out Kross, allowing Taya to hit Cage low. Impact nips up and destroys Cage, putting the block on his head and blasting it with a chair. Kross laughs from the floor to end the show.
OVE b. Tommy Dreamer/Rich Swann/Willie Mack – Cactus Piledriver to Dreamer
Glenn Gilbertti b. Kikutaro – Chartbuster
KM/Fallah Bahh b. Reno Scum – Belly to belly to Thornstowe
Jordynne Grace b. Tessa Blanchard – Grace Driver
Eli Drake/Eddie Edwards b. Desi Hit Squad – Kendo stick to Raju
Thomas Hall has been a wrestling fan for over thirty years and has seen over 50,000 wrestling matches. He has also been a wrestling reviewer since 2009 with over 5,000 full shows covered. You can find his work at kbwrestlingreviews.com, or check out his Amazon author page with 28 wrestling books. His latest book is the the Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1.
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