WrestleMania 33 Preview: Full card, predictions, and more!

Somehow, it’s Wrestlemania Sunday. I have no idea how this show came so soon but in about eighteen hours, the show itself will be kicking off and that means it’s high time for the preview. I’ll be in the stadium for the show so I’m very excited for the card, even if it certainly doesn’t look the strongest on paper. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

This one belongs on the pre-show, for the sake of the entrances taking up too much time alone. At the moment there are a ton of jobbers filling out a lot of the spots, meaning this is about what you would expect from this kind of thing. At the moment there are twenty five entrants, though you can almost guarantee five more being added at minimum. As is so often the case, only a handful of them are realistic options.

For my money (and almost everyone else’s), those options are Big Show, Braun Strowman and Sami Zayn, but I’ll throw in Mojo Rawley and the recently added Killian Dain. There’s a real chance to make someone in this battle royal and they’ve been pushing the heck out of Rawley on TV as of late. Throw in how cool he was at Axxess and I’d love to see him go somewhere, especially in a match that doesn’t have to be some big game changer if they don’t want it to be. The rest of the filed will be pure filler, but it could be really interesting to see what surprises they might throw out.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Austin Aries

This is the match I’ve been looking forward to more than any other. There’s something about this match that makes me think they’ll tear the house down and almost nothing would please me more. These guys have worked hard and built up a match where I can’t imagine either of them losing, which often makes for the best part of the show. Much like the battle royal, I’d much rather they be on the pre-show for the sake of giving it extra time than cramming it in between Pitbull and a New Day segment.

As for a winner……dang I actually have to pick one now don’t I? I guess I’ll go with Neville as Akira Tozawa can be set up as his next opponent, which should make for a rather entertaining match in its own right. There’s a good reason that these two are going to be in such a high spot on the crowd and it’s a place they’ve certainly earned. As Aries put it, he’s the guy you call on to elevate a show and that’s what he’s going to do here. Give these two twelve minutes and there’s a good chance it’s one of the best matches of the night. Neville retains in a near classic.

Road to WrestleMania 33: Neville vs. Austin Aries

Raw Tag Team Titles: Anderson and Gallows vs. Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass

Anderson and Gallows are defending and for reasons purely of “it’s Wrestlemania”, this is a ladder match. Instead of having Amore and Big Cass win the titles for one of the loudest pops of the night the following day, let’s cram a gimmick into this match that isn’t interesting in the first place. The key to this match is Amore, who can be a javelin with Big Cass throwing him all over the place. Assuming he doesn’t suffer another horrible injury, everything should be fun.

That being said, I can’t imagine Anderson and Gallows keep the titles if DIY is on the way up. Those guys taking the titles on Monday would be a better option, though I have a bad feeling we’ll get Amore and Big Cass winning them here when it’s crammed onto the opening match and forgotten an hour later. I’ll take Big Cass and Amore winning, but I’m far from confident in this one.

Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin

I could see this one being added to the pre-show as they need three matches on there to loosen up some time on the main show. This is the feud built around Ambrose eliminating Corbin from the Elimination Chamber, causing Corbin to CRUSH HIM WITH A FORKLIFT, which meant an Intercontinental Title match at Wrestlemania instead of, you know, death or a lawsuit or something.

I see no reason whatsoever for Ambrose to keep the title here so we’ll go with Corbin winning. He won the battle royal last year and has hit the ground running on the main roster. It’s high time he won something other than the battle royal though and the Intercontinental Title sounds like a great place to start. Ambrose certainly doesn’t need the thing so let’s give it to Corbin and see what he can do out of it (which likely means a bunch of losses but trying is better than nothing).

Dean Ambrose crosses the line during interview with Baron Corbin: WWE Talking Smack, Mar. 28, 2017

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

I don’t know how to feel about this one. The story has been quite strong, but at the end of the day it’s McMahon vs. Styles at Wrestlemania after the incredible year that Styles had. As a Styles fan, here’s what worries me the worst: if the match is good, McMahon gets all the credit. If the match is bad, Styles gets all the blame. Styles has his work cut out for him here and the fact that it’s a regular match means this could be something of a mess.

With my fingers heavily crossed, I’ll take Styles, though don’t be surprised if they actually give McMahon the win to keep him strong or some nonsense like that. Either way, I can’t imagine the match being anything more than a messy brawl because McMahon can’t even throw a good punch. Watching Styles try to carry McMahon to a passable match could be a disaster but there’s always the chance that the old magic could come back for the boss. I mean, it didn’t last year but it’s a possibility. Maybe.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Six Pack Challenge

With Asuka retaining the NXT Women’s Title at “Takeover: Orlando”, I have almost no idea who is going to win here. I can’t imagine they’ll throw Nikki Bella in there again and as much as I’d love to see Alexa Bliss retain the title, I have a feeling we’re getting Naomi winning the title again for the big hometown pop, because, and I know I say this a lot, Naomi winning the title is suddenly this huge emotional moment, especially in her hometown.

That being said, I think Carmella actually gets the title here. WWE has a very strong tendency to throw in a major curveball and this seems to be a great option. While I think they’ll throw in some names as there’s no guarantee that the match will be limited to six, I don’t think any of the surprises (whoever they may be) will win the title. I’ll take Carmella in the swerve of the night.

Becky Lynch & Mickie James vs. Alexa Bliss & Carmella: SmackDown LIVE, March 28, 2017

Raw Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Where in the world to begin here? So Bayley won the title in a nothing title change and now gets to defend in a four way for the title because that’s what the fans want to see. I guess they don’t want to go with another triple threat, even though the story calls for a three way at worst and a Bayley vs. Banks match at best. Jax is there because…..I really have no idea actually.

I’ll go with Banks winning to set up Bayley’s second title win, because you’re not a REAL champion until you’ve won a title three times or so. As long as it doesn’t end with Charlotte getting a sixth title reign this fast for the sake of making her a second Ric Flair, I should be fine. There’s no secret that this should be Bayley FINALLY beating Charlotte for the title but we needed a surprise instead so screw logical booking.

John Cena/Nikki Bella vs. The Miz/Maryse

To say this one has gone through a range of emotions is an understatement. Depending on who you believe, there was a chance this was supposed to be Cena vs. Undertaker (I’m not sure I buy that) or just a singles match between Miz and Cena. All I know for sure is I’ve gone from dreading this match to seeing it be something actually worthwhile due to some INCREDIBLE promos. Miz has been on so much of a roll lately and I’ve started to like him even more than I did before.

That being said, I don’t see a real chance for Miz and Maryse. I can live with Cena and Bella winning if Maryse is the one taking the fall (it’s not like she has anything of note to lose) but I have a bad feeling it winds up with a double STF for the finish. As long as Miz isn’t the one looking up at the lights at the end of the match, I’m pretty good. I mean, aside from the marriage proposal which is likely happening despite most fans having zero interest in seeing it.

Road to WrestleMania 33: John Cena & Nikki Bella vs. The Miz & Maryse

Smackdown World Title: Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Oh….this one worries me. Wyatt won the title earlier this year to finally shake off the label of being a choker. Therefore, he flat out needs to win this one and needs it WAY more than Orton could hope to. The story has been a mess with Orton joining the Wyatts and then breaking away from them as part of a ruse, plus something about burning a corpse and Wyatt soiling himself.

Not that any of that really matters though as I think they put the title back on Orton here for reasons that I don’t want to comprehend. Orton flat out does not need to win here and can eventually get the title back over the summer if they just have to go that way. Wyatt really needs to win here, even if it means bringing in someone as Sister Abigail for a really stupid cameo.

Seth Rollins vs. Triple H

I really don’t know where to go with this one. Rollins has the knee injury coming in so I’m not sure what they can do with the match but really, there’s no reason whatsoever for HHH to come close to winning. Of course that never stopped him before but I think we’re mostly past that at this point. The match should be fun and odds are it includes some interference (Samoa Joe is almost a given) so expect more of a mess than a straight match, which is probably the right call.

I’ll take Rollins in what should be a layup, but this feud has been a mess since it started in August and then went on until April because HHH is only worthy of Wrestlemania or something. The “Rollins turned on me when he got hurt” story is still ridiculous (not to mention illogical) but if it ends with Rollins pinning HHH once and for all (they’ll do at least one rematch), it should be fun enough.

US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens

I want to buy this feud a sandwich. They’ve built this up so, so well with the List of Owens reveal being one of the best turns I’ve seen since……oh geez since Batista turned on Rey Mysterio, and this was much better than that. The fact that they waited until this past week to have Jericho put Owens on the List was a great bonus for the whole thing and made it even more awesome. I don’t remember the last time I liked a feud this much but it’s blown everything else away as far as storytelling.

I’ll take Owens to win here in the logical conclusion before they do a big, violent rematch with Owens winning again to send Jericho off to tour with Fozzy. Either way, this match has the potential to really steal the show and should be one of the better things on it, just due to how good both of them are in the first place.

Road to WrestleMania: United States Champion Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens

Roman Reigns vs. Undertaker

If Undertaker wins, I officially have no idea what’s going on in WWE’s minds anymore. This is tailor made for Reigns to be all the more aggressive (not necessarily a heel) and spear Undertaker over and over until the old man can’t get up anymore because the new monster runs this place. Reigns can be great for something like this, but I’m never likely to bet against Undertaker at Wrestlemania.

However, I’m also never one to understand how much Vince McMahon is willing to give Reigns for the sake of getting him over so we’ll go with Reigns winning here in an upset. I can’t imagine undertaker actually retires here, but you know that’s always something people are going to be talking about. Undertaker goes down here, but the interesting parts are how and what happens to Reigns after the fact. I don’t think he goes full heel, but he’s definitely extra aggressive in getting the win. Finally, I think this closes the show over Lesnar vs. Goldberg.

Raw World Title: Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

We had to get here eventually. I’ve said the same thing since “Survivor Series 2016”: I have no idea why I’m supposed to be interested in seeing them fight again. Fans don’t seem interested in seeing either of them and they especially don’t need the title to make this story work (really, it’s the same thing with or without the title) so I have no idea why we’re seeing this again other than “well we started it so we have to finish it”.

Despite recent rumors that WWE thinks Goldberg dropping the belt is too obvious, I think that’s what happens and yes, I think it goes more than two minutes. After nine or ten minutes, they’ll do a spear and Jackhammer but Lesnar kicks out, stunning Goldberg. He’ll try again and get caught, this time into an F5 for the pin. It also doesn’t go on last, as it probably shouldn’t.

Road to WrestleMania 33: Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Overall Thoughts

Yeah I know the card doesn’t look great (mainly due to the top) but it does have one thing going for it: this is Wrestlemania. There have been times where a lot of things look horrible but this show is something special. There’s something about it that makes the show worthwhile almost every single year (ok so they’re on a losing streak right now). There’s going to be something worth seeing on the show and it’s going to be good.

As mentioned, I’m certainly looking forward to Owens vs. Jericho and any match where we could get some kind of a surprise. Couple that with New Day doing some shenanigans and possibly providing us with ice cream and the show has some potential. The show should be a good time (a very long time) and I’m sure there’s going to be a lot of strong stuff on there.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6