In the words of new WWE Hall of Famer Vader, it’s time. It is time for Wrestlemania XXXVIII and that means the card has finally (and I do mean finally) been set. We now know what to expect on each night and the card is…well it certainly exists. There are some interesting matches on both nights, though I’m not sure what to expect from the show. That can make it fun though so let’s get to it.
Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos(c) vs. Rick Boogs/Shinsuke Nakamura
Since the New Day is busy, the Usos actually need someone else to fight for once. That opens the door for Boogs and Nakamura, who at least seem like a team. How can you not be ready for a title match after doing Toyota commercials together? This should be good enough as Nakamura knows how to work well with anyone and Boogs is basically an ox with a guitar.
I’ll go with new champions here, on the grounds of “well, someone has to beat the Usos.” They feel like they have held the titles forever, so let the new team get the belts off of them and have a big guitar celebrity. It isn’t like there is anything else for them to do, so go with what makes sense and change the titles already. I’d call it overdue, but we passed that point months ago. New champs crowned.
New Day vs. Sheamus/Ridge Holland
Speaking of the New Day, we might as well get rid of them here. This is a feud that had already started before Holland accidentally broke Big E.’s neck, but since WWE has some decency, they haven’t used that as a major story point in the feud. I’m not sure what to expect from their match, but there is a story here, even if WWE isn’t actually using it (as they probably shouldn’t).
In theory there is no reason for New Day to lose here so I’ll take them, even if WWE logic would seem to go otherwise. WWE likes having weird results like New Day losing here, even if it makes no sense. Hopefully WWE is going to figure this out (work with me here) and give us the New Day win that it should be, as Holland has already taken out their best friend. Is another loss necessary?
Seth Rollins vs. ???
Now I know what you’re thinking (ok I don’t but work with me here): it’s Cody Rhodes. I know that’s the working theory and it’s probably accurate, but what if it is some other surprise? Like say….Undertaker, who teased wrestling one more time and was inducted into the Hall of Fame this weekend by Vince McMahon. Would it be that big of a shock to see him again?
Yeah probably so we’ll say Rhodes is the opponent and….he wins. I’m not sure what the idea of the whole thing will be, as Rhodes winning means he beat a loser who couldn’t get on the show, but Rollins winning means Rhodes is almost dead in the water upon return. I’ll go with Rhodes winning as it has a bigger upside, but it has been such a strange story for so long now that it’s hard to tell.
Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio vs. Miz/Logan Paul
This match feels like it was thrown together for no apparent reason other than to get Paul on the show. Does anyone care about his issues with the Mysterios? It hasn’t been a terrible story, but my goodness does it feel forced. Paul has a following, but is that following going to buy WrestleMania to see him fight a wrestler they have probably never heard of?
This should be a win for the Mysterios as Miz and/or Paul finally get what is coming to them. I say should because I could also see Miz winning to gloat some more, though it would make more sense to go with the family win. While the two of them need to split up at some point, they need to win to make that matter, so we’ll go with the Mysterios winning here to get rid of Paul (again).
Happy Corbin vs. Drew McIntyre
Let’s get this one out of the way too. I have no idea why this is the match we are getting from McIntyre at WrestleMania, as he has been beating up Corbin and Madcap Moss for months. There is almost no chance of Corbin winning here and even WWE does not seem crazy enough to try something like that. I can only hope that something better is coming for McIntyre, but you really can’t tell.
Of course I’ll go with McIntyre to win here, as there is zero reason for him not to. Sometimes the best way to go with the most logical and that is the case here, as there is no reason to not see what you have with McIntyre back in the main event scene. That means taking out Corbin in short order, which is all that this needs to be. Don’t make it any more complicated than that.
Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch(c) vs. Bianca Belair
I’m scared. This is a match that should be all about Belair getting her win and the title back. That is what they seemed to be teasing….but then Monday Night Raw came along. That was the night when Belair cut part of Lynch’s hair off, which makes me think that Lynch could keep the belt. It would be weird to see Lynch humiliated and beaten in the span of a week, but that might be where we are heading.
For the sake of my sanity, I’ll say Belair gets the title back here, as it is far past the point where Lynch needs to put someone over for the belt. Belair is already popular and successful, so let her get her second WrestleMania title win in two years and be done with Lynch. Either that or make it a hair vs. title match next month, even if that might not be the best idea in the world.
SmackDown Women’s Title: Charlotte(c) vs. Ronda Rousey
Much like the previous Women’s Title match, it is time. Charlotte hasn’t done much as champion and it would be nice to see her get far, far away from the title picture for a long time. She already has lapped the field when it comes to title wins and it wouldn’t make sense to have her keep it any longer. Certainly not if WWE wants Rousey to be a big star down the line.
I’ll go with Rousey winning here, as WWE doesn’t have much of a choice. Despite Rousey not having anywhere near the same spark that she had in her first run, it is time for her to get the title back so we can see where things take her. Maybe that means a showdown with Lynch for the title, but at some point she has to win and Charlotte has to lose, which is where we are here.
While the show might not look great, there are parts of it that feel awesome. That would include the Women’s Title matches, the Rollins mystery opponent, and of course Steve Austin’s return, which should be a major highlight. Sure it might just be Austin brawling for a bit, but you never know what kind of insanity you might see from the thing. What matters is that it is Wrestlemania, which should be a very fun night. Please be a very fun night.
Thomas Hall has been a wrestling fan for over thirty years and has seen over 60,000 wrestling matches. He has also been a wrestling reviewer since 2009 with over 6,000 full shows covered. You can find his work at kbwrestlingreviews.com, or check out his- Amazon author page with 30 wrestling books
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