World Cup of Wrestling
Date: December 7, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s another One Night Only show but at least this time there’s a fresh idea to it. See, this time instead of a tag tournament or a singles tournament, it’s an international tournament. It’s in the vein of the World X Cup if you remember that from WAY back in the day. It’s an interesting idea but I’m not sure if it’s going to be all that interesting. This is TNA so I can’t imagine it being so. Let’s get to it.

We open with the highlight reel of stuff we haven’t seen yet. The four teams are USA, United Kingdom, International and Aces and 8’s. It looks like there’s a singles guy, a tag team, an X-Division guy and a Knockout each.

JB explains the rules: There will be eight matches with the winners receiving one point apiece. The teams with the most points advance to an eight man elimination tag for the cup.

Here are the teams, in order of X-Division, Knockouts, tag team and singles.

United Kingdom – Rockstar Spud, Hannah Blossom, Rob Terry/Douglas Williams, Magnus

International – Sonjay Dutt, Lei’D Tapa, Petey Williams/Funaki, Judas Mesias (from AAA in Mexico)

USA – Kenny King, Mickie James, Bad Influence, James Storm

Aces and 8’s – Wes Brisco, ???, Doc/Knux, Mr. Anderson

The Aces and 8’s will introduce their Knockout later, even though she was already shown on the opening video. On paper the USA team should dominate this.

Video on Team UK with each member getting a mini profile. Basically it’s a British Boot Camp and British Invasion reunion.

Magnus says he’s motivated tonight and he’s standing up for what is right. Tonight, it’s right for him to go to work.

Mr. Anderson (Aces and 8’s) vs. Magnus (UK)

Anderson takes him into the corner to start and shakes his head at Magnus. The Brit shoves Anderson into another corner and slaps Anderson in the face as the match stays in first gear. They slug it out until Anderson’s cross body is caught in midair for a modified scoop brainbuster. Anderson goes up top and as Magnus comes over to stop him, gets his arm snapped over the top rope to put Magnus down.

Mr. goes after the arm and bars it on the mat for a bit. A shoulder block gets a pair of near falls on Magnus and he gets whipped hard into the corner. Off to a hammerlock into a slam down onto the arm for two. Back to the armbar as Anderson is in full control. Tazz talks about Magnus being a metrosexual for some reason as the Brit charges into a boot in the corner. A double clothesline puts both guys down but it’s Anderson up first, stomping Magnus down in the corner.

Magnus’ arm is slammed onto the apron but he comes back with a knee to the face and a clothesline with the good arm. The top rope elbow gets two but Anderson comes back with a hot shot for no cover. Mic Check is countered and Magnus hits that Michinoku Driver of his for the pin and the first point.

Result:Magnus b. Mr. Anderson – Michinoku Driver

UK – 1 (3 matches remaining)

USA – 0 (4 matches remaining)

International – 0 (4 matches remaining)

Aces and 8’s – 0 (3 matches remaining)

Video on Team USA in the same style as earlier with everyone getting a quick profile.

Kenny King (USA) vs. Sonjay Dutt (International)

King takes him into the corner to start and talks a lot of trash. The fans are behind King here even though he’s a heel at the moment. You have to love good old fashioned xenophobia. King takes him down with a headlock but Dutt counters into one of his own. Off to an armbar for a bit before Dutt sends him to the floor for a big flip dive. Back in with King dropkicking Dutt off the top as Tazz talks about moving Team International’s headquarters in a joke that goes on WAY too long.

King hooks a chinlock but Dutt fights up and puts on an octopus hold of all things. It looks good but doesn’t last long as King flips him over and gets two off some right hands. Back to the chinlock from King as Tazz keeps talking about Scandinavia for some reason. Dutt jawbreaks his way out of the hold and drops King with a jumping elbow to the jaw. A tornado DDT gets two on King and a slingshot splash gets the same.

The fans chant USA as you would expect them to do as King breaks up Sliced Bread #2. King catches a cross body in a spinning Irish Curse backbreaker for two. Dutt’s throat is snapped across the top rope and a springboard kick to the face gets two. King tries a reverse AA but Dutt flips out and rolls him up for two. A standing Sliced Bread #2 looks to set up Dutt’s moonsault double stomp but King rolls away and hits a running knee to the chest for the pin.

Result: Kenny King b. Sonjay Dutt – Running knee to the chest

USA – 1 (3 matches remaining)

UK – 1 (3 matches remaining)

International – 0 (3 matches remaining)

Aces and 8’s – 0 (3 matches remaining)

Team International says they’re going to turn things around. Well Funaki says he’s #1 but you get the idea.

Hannah Blossom (UK vs. Lei’D Tapa (International)

Blossom is a normal sized girl so this is power vs. speed. Tapa shoves her around to start and drives Blossom into the corner as Tenay and Tazz have one of their TOTALLY NATURAL moments of banter. Hannah gets an awkward looking cross body for two but gets kicked in the face to get us back to the natural order of things. Tapa slams her down as Tazz gets a text from Judas Mesias, saying where the party is when Team International wins. Blossom gets caught in a chinlock but fights up with some clotheslines to no effect. A high cross body gets two for Hannah but gets caught in the fireman’s carry Stunner for the pin for Tapa.

Result:Lei’D Tapa b. Hannah Blossom – Fireman’s carry into a Stunner

International – 1 (2 matches remaining)

USA – 1 (3 matches remaining)

UK – 1 (2 matches remaining)

Aces and 8’s – 0 (3 matches remaining)

Tazz declares the leader board to be lazy for reasons of general stupidity.

Aces and 8’s say they’re taking over the world tonight. Their Knockout is Ivelisse from Gut Check.

Video on Aces and 8’s which is a recap of the team’s history instead of profiles.

Doc/Knux (Aces and 8’s) vs. Funaki/Petey Williams (International)

Funaki gets thrown into the corner and stomped down during the entrances to give the bikers an early advantage. Doc gets things going against Funaki and the dominance begins quickly. Funaki is dragged into the heel corner and it’s off to Knux for some clubbing forearms and more double stomping. Some right hands have no effect on Knux but Funaki keeps swinging and actually staggers Doc. The bikers easily break up the tag attempt though with Doc taking Funkai down to the mat in a leg lock.

The slow beating continues and there’s not much to talk about here. It’s the same power offense over and over again on Funaki as we’re over five minutes into this. Funaki’s sunset flip is easily blocked but Knux sits on the mat instead of Funaki’s chest. The hot tag is broken up again though as the beatdown continues. Knux puts on a front facelock and we get the unseen tag for old times’ sake. Funaki stops a charging Doc with a boot in the corner but his tornado DDT is broken up.

An enziguri is FINALLY enough for the hot tag to Williams as things speed up. Petey headscissors Knux into 619 position and dropkicks him in the back as everything breaks down. A running DDT gets two on Knux and Petey low bridges Doc to the floor. Funaki gets two on Doc off a cross body but Knux comes back in with a hammer shot to Funaki for the pin.

Result: Doc/Knux b. Petey Williams/Funaki – Hammer to Funaki

Aces and 8’s – 1 (2 matches remaining)

International – 1 (1 match remaining)

UK – 1 (2 matches remaining)

USA – 1 (3 matches remaining)

Video on Rockstar Spud, including an endorsement from Hogan.

Wes Brisco (Aces and 8’s) vs. Rockstar Spud (UK)

Brisco pie faces Spud to start and the far smaller guy gets right in Wes’ face. Spud is a face here despite being a heel by the time this aired. Wes easily takes him down and puts on a chinlock before hitting a hard clothesline for two. Spud comes back with a dropkick and some right hands in the corner, only to be dumped out to the floor. Back in and we hit a chinlock as Tazz calls him Rockspar Stud.

A neckbreaker gets two on Spud and it’s off to a cravate. That’s too British for Brisco so it’s back to the good old American chinlock. Spud fights out and dropkicks Brisco out to the floor to set up a big flip dive over the top. The fans are actually behind Spud as he gets two off a high cross body. Brisco just shakes it off and powerslams Spud for the pin.

Result:Wes Brisco b. Rockstar Spud – Powerslam

Aces and 8’s – 2 (1 match remaining)

International – 1 (1 match remaining)

UK – 1 (1 match remaining)

USA – 1 (3 matches remaining)

Bad Influence talks about great Americans, like George Washington, Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson and George Jefferson. “It took a lot of strength and work for him and Weezie to move up to the east side.” Tonight they’ll cement their names in American history with other greats like Martin Luther King Jr., Abraham Lincoln and Spider-Man. Daniels even sings a little America the Beautiful. He says he’s sexually delicious like a bowl of Horny Charms and you have permission to worship them. Absolutely hilarious stuff and the fact that So Cal Val looked great in a low cut blue blouse helped quite a bit.

Bad Influence (USA) vs. British Invasion (UK)

It’s Terry and Williams for the Brits here. Bad Influence is WAY over as a face team here which is bizarre to see but fits perfectly well. Terry starts with Kaz and the smaller guy climbs the corner to escape a headlock. The power is a bit too much for Kaz so he rolls (completely unnecessary, making it all the more appropriate) to the corner for the tag to Daniels. Christopher doesn’t want him either but comes in to bounce off Terry a few times.

Williams comes in with some clotheslines and a freaky looking double arm hold (Daniels’ arms were wrapped around Williams’ legs) into a rollup for two. Back to Terry vs. Kaz as Rob cranks on the arm. Daniels and Williams quickly come back in with Chris being armbarred down like it’s nothing. Bad Influence finally cheats a bit, allowing Daniels to STO Williams down to take over.

Kaz comes in with a clothesline for two and we hit the chinlock. Daniels comes in behind the referee’s back as the dynamic of the match gets even more and more confusing. Williams tries to fight out of the corner with forearms but walks into a Daniels clothesline to put him back down. Daniels kicks away at Douglas and puts on a chinlock to slow things down. Williams comes back with a jumping elbow to the jaw for two and there’s the hot tag to Terry.

A double clothesline puts Bad Influence down and we get a double belly to back suplex of all things. That looked awesome. Terry hits a tilt-a-whirl powerslam on Kaz to set up a top rope knee drop from Williams but Daniels makes the save. A top rope European uppercut puts Kaz down but Daniels breaks up the Rolling Chaos theory. Bad Influence gets in a quick High/Low for the pin on Williams for the point.

Result:Bad Influence b. British Invasion – High/Low to Williams

USA – 2 (2 matches remaining)

Aces and 8’s – 2 (1 match remaining)

International – 1 (1 match remaining)

UK – 1 (0 matches remaining)

The Brits are officially eliminated.

Video on Mickie James, including something about her country music push as a heel.

Mickie James (USA) vs. Ivelisse (Aces and 8’s)

To say Ivelisse looks hot as the biker in leather is the understatement of the night. How in the world does she not have a job? They circle each other to start until Mickie grabs the arm and takes Ivelisse down. Ivelisse is sent into the ropes for a breather as Taz starts to sing for no apparent reason. James hooks a headlock and Ivelisse bails to the floor. Back in and Ivelisse takes Mickie down and pounds away for two.

Mickie gets choked on the ropes but escapes from a wristlock to dropkick Ivelisse down for two. James pounds away in the corner but gets sent shoulder first into the post. Ivelisse gets a VERY delayed two count and a backbreaker gets the same. The kickouts are frustrating Ivelisse so she hooks a chinlock. James fights up and scores with some clotheslines followed by a neckbreaker for two. Mickie goes up top but here are the Aces to shove her off, giving Ivelisse the easy pin.

Result:Ivelisse b. Mickie James – Pin after Wes Brisco shoved James off the top

Aces and 8’s – 3 (0 matches remaining)

USA – 2 (1 match remaining)

International – 1 (1 match remaining)

UK – 1 (0 matches remaining)

Now, to prove how little thought TNA puts into these things, here’s the Ultimate X match that determined the winner of the World X Cup from the summer of 2008.

Ultimate X: Kaz (America) vs. Volador Jr. (Mexico) vs. Naruki Doi (Japan) vs. Daivari (International)

This is for four points apparently, so more or less the winner wins everything, making the entire previous three rounds totally pointless. Daivari is allegedly predictable in this. Ok then. West thinks Kaz is the favorite because of his experience letting him know that he’ll know how to win earlier. YOU CLIMB UP AND GRAB THE FREAKING X! How hard is this?

Daivari wisely goes after Kaz’s arm. That makes the most sense here if nothing else. Oh and only Kaz is a face here. We can’t have nice foreigners! West says Kaz is close to being a world champion. Oh the comedy! Oh and also, great idea on telling us to stop watching your show so we can go get our computers to vote on something on the show later on. In other words, a stipulation for later on in the night is more important than the match you’re watching at the moment. Volador is pretty fun to watch. Kaz manages to get above the X and almost unhooks it but Daivari makes the save.

It worked as it’s not like Kaz had a long time up there like in a ladder match so it didn’t look completely ridiculous which is a very nice difference. Also he used his legs to get there so he kept selling the arm from earlier. In a MIND BLOWING spot, Daivari is going across a cable with his back facing the ring so he’s looking up at the ceiling. Kaz climbs up to the metal thing that holds up the cables and JUMPS off of it, crashing down with a clothesline onto Daivari and killing himself in the process. That was INCREDIBLE. It also lets Volador go up and get the X for the win and the Cup.

Result:Volador Jr. b. Naruki Doi, Daivari and Kazarian – Volador Jr. grabbed the X

Now that the time filler is over, back to modern times.

James Storm likes the idea of his team depending on him and mentions Ricky Morton for some reason.

Mesias (International) vs. James Storm (USA)

This should be interesting. Mesias punches Storm into the corner to start but James comes back with right hands of his own. They head outside for more punching with Mesias being whipped into the barricade. Storm rams him into various other metal objects until they head back inside for a Mesias powerslam. A clothesline in the corner staggers Storm as we actually talk about Mesias being in TNA before.

Storm’s comeback is stopped by a pull of the hair but he grabs a quick Russian legsweep to get a breather. An atomic drop and bulldog drop Mesias and there’s the enziguri in the corner for two. Mesias hits a quick Downward Spiral for two and a clothesline gets the same. The frustration sets in for Mesias and Storm makes it worse by winning a slugout. Mesias jumps over Storm in the corner but turns into the Last Call for the pin and the spot in the elimination match for USA.

Result:James Storm b. Mesias – Last Call

Final standings:

USA – 3

Aces and 8’s – 3

UK – 1

International – 1

We recap the matches so far tonight.

Team USA vs. Aces and 8’s

James Storm, Kenny King, Bad Influence, Mickie James

Mr. Anderson, Wes Brisco, Doc, Knux, Ivelisse

Elimination rules and even the girls are in this one. Mickie and Ivelisse get things going but Ivelisse tags in Doc instead of fighting. Doc gets a slap instead of a kiss and it’s off to Daniels. Chris gets caught in the corner but scores with a back elbow before bringing in Kaz for some good old American double teaming. Kaz tags out to King who doesn’t do as well, getting caught in a full nelson, allowing for some shots by Anderson. Kenny gets a quick two off a clothesline before it’s back to Kaz for some forearms.

Anderson gets in a knee to the ribs and it’s off to Brisco who is taken into the American corner. I say American even though everyone in the match is American (Ivelisse is from Puerto Rico which is part of America). Bad Influence double teams Brisco in the corner and the other three partners come in for five straight splashes in the corner. Aces and 8’s just let this happen and a double suplex from Bad Influence gets a two count.

Off to King who puts Wes in a chinlock and a back elbow to the jaw for two. A jawbreaker sends Brisco to the apron but he counters a suplex into a cross body with Ivelisse holding Kenny’s leg for the pin. Daniels comes in for some hip thrusting, prompting Taz to ask why Bad Influence likes having sex with the air. Storm comes in and pounds away before it’s back to Kaz for a spinning springboard legdrop for two.

Brisco gets a knee up in the corner to stop a charging Daniels and tags in Ivelisse for some reason. Mickie pulls her in and beats on Ivelisse like she stole something. The beating continues until Mickie misses a charge into the post, only to come back with a clothesline. A top rope Thesz perss eliminates Ivelisse but Brisco comes in with a quick rollup to eliminate Mickie. Storm comes in just as fast and Backstabs Brisco for the pin.

We’re down to Storm/Bad Influence vs. Anderson/Doc/Knux and it’s Storm vs. Knux in the ring. The bikers get Storm into the corner for some triple teaming before Doc comes in and pounds away. James fights out of the corner and makes the tag off to Kaz, who catches Knux coming in with a dropkick. A slingshot DDT puts Knux down and Daniels’ BME is enough for the pin.

It’s Doc in next and the Americans speed things up with some double teaming in the corner. Kaz dropkicks Doc but can’t put him down, only to get caught by a big uppercut. Off to Anderson who puts on an armbar as a transitional move, which is a big reason why limb psychology is dying. A neckbreaker drops Kaz for two but he gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charging Anderson. Both guys hit cross bodies at the same time and we get a breather.

The double tag brings in Storm and Doc as everything breaks down. Daniels holds Anderson’s arms but Storm accidentally hits Chris in the face. That’s enough being nice for Bad Influence and they walk out, leaving Storm two on one. Anderson drops some knees into Storm’s back for two and it’s back to Doc for more powerful right hands. We hit the chinlock again but James fights up with some right hands to the ribs. The Aces try some double teaming but Storm sends them together and rolls Anderson up for the pin. Last Call takes Doc’s head off and Storm wins for the good old USA.

Result:Team USA b. Aces and 8’s – Last Call to Doc

Bad Influence comes out to celebrate and get beaten up as well. Dude Daniels pinned Knux. Show some gratitude already. Storm and James get the cup to end the show.

Results

Magnus b. Mr. Anderson – Michinoku Driver

Kenny King b. Sonjay Dutt – Running knee to the chest

Lei’D Tapa b. Hannah Blossom – Fireman’s carry into a Stunner

Doc/Knux b. Funaki/Sonjay Dutt – Hammer shot to Funaki

Wes Brisco b. Rockstar Spud – Powerslam

Bad Influence b. British Invasion – High/Low to Williams

Ivelisse b. Mickie James – Pin after Wes Brisco shoved James off the top

James Storm b. Mesias – Last Call

Team USA b. Aces and 8’s – Superkick to Doc

 

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