REVIEW: New Year’s Revolution 2006: The Ultimate Opportunity

Welcome to KB’s Old School (and New School) Reviews. I’ve been reviewing wrestling shows for over ten years now and have reviewed over 5,000 shows. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I’ll be posting a new review here on Wrestlingrumors.net, starting today. It could be anything from modern WWE to old school to indies to anything in between. Note that I rate using letters instead of stars and I don’t rate matches under three minutes as really, how good or bad can something that short be?

New Year’s Revolution 2006
Date: January 8, 2006
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman

This is one of those shows that could range from just fine to a complete disaster if there isn’t enough effort put into the card. Again just look at the original version with all the nonsense (and injuries) that held things back and hope that it isn’t another show just like that mess. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about the Chamber, which once again is the entire focus of the show. In this case it’s various wrestlers talking about how brutal it is and how nothing compares to it.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. Edge

Flair is still defending and this is the result of Flair having a real life road rage incident and Edge mocking it by dressing up like Flair and attacking an actor. Edge jumps Flair from behind and hammers away but Ric comes back with chops as Coach gets the year wrong. Flair makes the mistake of chasing Lita and gets taken down by a clothesline, allowing Edge to take over again.

Back in and Edge puts on a dragon sleeper before Flair fires off chops, including one to knock Edge out of the air as he dives off the apron. Back in and Flair kicks Lita away from the ropes, setting up a top rope ax handle for two. Another Lita distraction breaks up the Figure Four so Ric brings her in and grabs the hold on her, only to have Edge bring in the Money in the Bank briefcase to knock Flair out for the DQ at 7:17.

Rating: D+. This was a Raw match that aired on pay per view which isn’t how you want to start a show. Flair was supposed to be all angry and full of rage here but instead we just got a regular Flair match with almost nothing but chops for offense. I wasn’t feeling this one and it didn’t seem like they were that interested in trying either.

Flair is busted open so Edge blasts him with another briefcase shot.

Kurt Angle is ready for the Chamber but first of all he’d like to say he wishes the US loses the war in Iraq because France if the greatest country in the world. Oh and he’s not a big fan of “the blacks”. The point is he can say whatever he wants and the people are going to cheer for him.

Flair is just now getting out of the ring.

We recap Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus. Mickie is insane and basically a stalker who wants to replace Trish, even dressing up like Trish a few times. James became #1 contender and thought it would be awesome to win the title, only to have Trish not seem thrilled by the prospect.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Trish is defending. They shake hands to start and Trish being so serious seems to shake Mickie. James can’t flip out of a wristlock and it’s time for a standoff. A rollup gets two on the champ but they botch a hurricanrana out of the corner, sending an annoyed Trish outside. Back in and Mickie runs her over with a shoulder which seems to fire Mickie up even more.

They slug it out with more energy than you’ll see from most women in wrestling before Trish kicks her in the head to blocks a tornado DDT. Mickie is fine enough to knock the champ outside, only to have Trish come back with a Thesz press and a bunch of right hands. A spinebuster of all things gets two on Mickie but she comes back with a Stratusfaction (springboard bulldog) of her own. Mickie poses before covering though, allowing Trish to get out at two. Back up and the Chick Kick retains Trish’s title at 7:18.

Rating: B. This was much better than I was expecting as they just beat each other up the whole match with Mickie’s obsession costing her the title at the end. Trish was by far the most dominant Diva of all time at this point and it was FAR past the point where she needed some fresh competition. This was her one year anniversary as champion and no one had given her a real challenge until this match.

Maria interviews herself about the bra and panties gauntlet match. Gregory Helms (formerly the Hurricane) comes in to say this is stupid and that he’s going to take care of Jerry Lawler later.

Shelton Benjamin and his Mama arrive. Oh yeah this was a thing. Basically Shelton was on a losing streak so his Mama (a rather large comedienne named Thea Vidale) came in to set his career back on track. Like here, where she sends him to his locker while she goes to get him food.

Gregory Helms vs. Jerry Lawler

Lawler had made fun of Helms for thinking he was a hero so Helms is here for revenge. Helms gets in an armdrag to start and they trade punches in the corner. Of course that goes to Lawler before he backdrops Helms down. More right hands allow Lawler to do the Hurricane pose for a nice touch and a laugh from the crowd. Helms comes back with a snapmare as things slow down again. A few suplexes drop Lawler as the crowd has almost completely died.

Helms goes to the middle rope for the jump into the raised boot but actually stops himself before impact and stomps on Lawler instead. They head outside with Jerry being posted, allowing Helms to grab a headset and brag about himself for a bit. Back in and Helms stays on offense with a middle rope dropkick but Lawler starts firing off right hands. The piledriver is broken up but Helms gets crotched on top, setting up the middle rope fist drop to give Lawler the clean pin at 9:32.

Rating: D. The comeback was a bunch of right hands followed by a middle rope fist drop for the pin. I really don’t get the thinking here but I’m sure it has nothing to do with Helms being young and good and therefore getting close to getting over so let’s have him lose clean to Lawler on pay per view. To make it even more confusing, Helms would get the Cruiserweight Title three weeks later and hold it for over a year.

Trish and Lita run into each other at the WWE.com interview location and have a quick staredown. Mickie comes in to talk about how awesome it was when their bodies were rubbing against each other. Yes it’s exactly what it sounds like.

Mama Benjamin isn’t happy with catering but here’s the World’s Largest Love Machine Viscera, complete with his red lights and smoking jacket to hit on her. This doesn’t go well, especially when Viscera offers to be Mama’s daddy. Mama promises to give him some action tonight.

We recap HHH vs. Big Show, which is over Show not liking HHH using the sledgehammer so often. HHH then cost Show an Elimination Chamber qualifying match, only to have Show do the same to him. They agreed to the match here and HHH broke Show’s hand to even things up a bit. This didn’t go well either as Show had a massive cast on his hand, making it even more dangerous.

HHH vs. Big Show

Show is still one half of the Raw Tag Team Champions along with Kane. A big shove sends HHH outside before some chops set up an elbow drop for no cover. Another whip sends HHH to the floor again as they’re firmly in first or second gear at the moment. HHH ducks a right hand to send the bad fist into the post so now the shots to the cast have an effect. Ignore HHH hitting it with a chair for no effect on Raw recently.

The cast is split open so HHH rips it off to make things all even. Show’s comeback is cut off as he misses a charge and falls outside again. The hand is bent apart and HHH drops a knee before cranking on the arm. Show fights up and hits a quick side slam before scoring with some splashes in the corner.

The chokeslam is broken up and Show hits the referee by mistake. The sledgehammer is brought in but Show breaks it in half, only to make his hand even worse in the process. That’s fine with Show who hits him low with a chair, followed by a chair to the hand. Back in and the sledgehammer to the head sets up the Pedigree to put Show away at 16:11.

Rating: D. HHH was just so uninteresting at this point as he would almost never lose and did the exact same thing over and over again while winning almost every time. That’s not to say Big Show was a good option to beat him but it’s the normal case of “Sledgehammer, Pedigree, HHH wins again, hahahaha.” That gets old after a while and they reached that point a long time ago.

Show gets the big respectful walk out which really doesn’t mean much here.

Carlito and Chris Masters agree to work together in the Chamber tonight.

The Benjamins want an apology from Viscera but Mama makes it a challenge instead.

Viscera vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton tries an armdrag for some reason and gets planted with a spinebuster as Mama will not shut up on the floor. Viscera takes it outside for some chops but Shelton gets in some running knees (Mama: “MAMA RIGHT HERE BABY! MAMA RIGHT HERE! YOU A BENJAMIN!”). With promises of a sweet potato pie, Shelton takes him down with a top rope clothesline.

Shelton starts working on the leg but Viscera comes back with a Samoan Drop. Mama: “DON’T MAKE ME GET THE BELT!” A Boss Man Slam plants Shelton, as Mama threatens to beat Shelton if he doesn’t beat Viscera. To make it worse, Viscera literally mounts Shelton from behind and bounces up and down. Again, it’s EXACTLY what it sounds like. Shelton shrugs off the simulated rape and sends Viscera to the ropes for a purse shot from Mama, followed by the Dragon Whip to give Shelton the pin at 7:48.

Rating: F. This is what passed for comedy back in 2006 and you can see why it was such a dark time. Somehow it would get even worse over time as Mama would become a more dominant character before disappearing after a fake heart attack. Not before helping Shelton take the Intercontinental Title from Ric Flair though.

Shawn Michaels and Vince McMahon, who have been having issues lately, bump into each other in the back. Shawn will be starting the Chamber, thanks to Vince. That’s fine, since Shawn entered the Royal Rumble at #1 and won there, along with being in the first ladder match and winning the first Cell match. I’m not quite sure why he didn’t mention winning the first Elimination Chamber match but maybe it was implied.

Bra and Panties Gauntlet Match

Lillian Garcia sums up the match perfectly: “The last woman with her clothes on wins.” Maria and Candice Michelle start things off with some bad stomping as both of their tops are gone in a hurry. Michelle does her headscissors choke but Maria turns around and gets rid of the pants for the elimination. Torrie Wilson is in next but neither can get the pants off. Maria rolls her up and gets the top off again and we get the roll over the referee spot. Torrie yells at the referee and gets finished off with Victoria (in a “let’s get this over with” shirt) coming in next.

Victoria easily squashes her and strips the rest of her down for the win. Cue Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young with Mae stripping herself (the bra has tassels) before going after Victoria’s top. Mae can’t even get that right and the whole thing is just a mess. After that mess, Ashley Massaro comes in last and gets Victoria’s pants off in thirty seconds to win at 11:01.

Rating: F. I get the idea here and these things were fun when I was younger but now they just come off as sad. There’s definitely an audience for them but at some point it’s just more of the same thing over and over again. Yeah the girls look great but that’s not what I want to spend the better part of fifteen minutes of a wrestling pay per view watching.

Ashley strips post match.

Shelton is about to answer some questions on WWE.com when Mama Benjamin reveals a brick in her purse. Are we done with this stupid story yet?

The Chamber is lowered.

We recap the main event, which is basically Cena vs. the world so Eric Bischoff can mess with him. Everyone else won qualifying matches to get in. The video mainly shows clips of the people involved and the Chamber itself.

Raw World Title: Carlito vs. Chris Masters vs. Kane vs. Kurt Angle vs. John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Inside the Elimination Chamber with Cena defending and starting against Shawn. Kane is in last due to winning his qualifying match in the fastest time. They start slow as you would expect with Shawn’s hammerlock being countered off an elbow to the face. Michaels starts chopping and loudly calling spots before Cena clotheslines him out to the floor. Carlito comes in third and dives over the top to land on Shawn. A Downward Spiral gets two on Cena before he and Shawn double team Carlito.

Kurt Angle is in fourth with suplexes all around. Shawn and Carlito get suplexed out to the outside and Shawn is catapulted into the cage to draw some blood. Angle sends him face first into the pod wall, leaving a bloody stain on the glass. The ankle lock has Carlito in trouble but Chris Masters comes in fifth for the save. Angle escapes the Masterlock and grabs the ankle lock, only to have to do the same to Cena. Cena is in big trouble but Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music to knock Angle silly for the elimination at 13:58.

It’s time for Carlito and Masters to start double teaming Cena and Michaels but Cena drops Masters with a hard clothesline. Kane comes in and starts cleaning house with elbows and a side slam to Carlito. The top rope clothesline drops Carlito and it’s time for the chokeslam. Masters tries a Masterlock but gets reversed into a chokeslam attempt. Carlito gets in a Backstabber and a double DDT…..only causes Kane to sit up again.

With nothing else working, Masters slams Carlito down onto Kane and a double cover gets rid of the monster at 19:24. Cena gets sent out to the cage but Shawn makes a comeback on Carlito and Masters at the same time. Back in and Cena gets dropped again, setting up Shawn’s top rope elbow for no cover. Sweet Chin Music plants Cena as well but Carlito and Masters are back up with the former hitting a rolling cutter for the elimination at 23:35. So we’re down to Masters, Carlito and Cena and if you can’t see the ending from here, you haven’t been paying enough attention.

Cena fights back and it’s the fans chanting for Masters to win in something that will probably never be said again. A DDT plants Cena on the steel, busting him open in the process. The pair hits a double suplex followed by a double belly to back superplex for good measure. For some reason they get in an argument over who gets to hit the finisher until the Masterlock goes on. Carlito turns on his buddy with a low blow and rollup for the elimination at 28:15, only to have Cena roll Carlito up to retain at 28:22.

Rating: C-. The last five minutes or so were Carlito/Chris Masters vs. John Cena. What exactly are we supposed to get out of that? As soon as Angle and Shawn were out, this was clearly just a matter of time until we got to Cena retaining and that makes for a very long waiting period. The match wasn’t bad and they were smart to trim some time off but the ending just didn’t have the drama to carry things like it needed to.

And now for the big moment of this show as Vince McMahon comes out to say the night isn’t over. The cage is raised and Vince congratulates Cena on retaining the WWE World Title but we’ve got one more match tonight because Edge is cashing in his Money in the Bank privilege right now.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

A very bloody Cena is defending and Edge pounds him in the head for a two count. The spear gets the same but Cena isn’t even on fumes at this point. That’s fine with Edge who hits a second spear for the pin and the title 1:46.

Edge and Lita celebrate a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. The ending is memorable but that really doesn’t bail out a horrible show. The Chamber was one of the weakest of all time and Trish vs. Mickie in a good seven minute match really isn’t enough to bail out anything. As is so often the case, this feels like a show where they expected the one gimmick match to carry it and didn’t have to put in any effort otherwise, which just flat out does not work, neither in the past nor here.

Thomas Hall has been a wrestling fan for over thirty years and has seen over 50,000 wrestling matches. He has also been a wrestling reviewer since 2009 with over 5,000 full shows covered. You can find his work at kbwrestlingreviews.com, or check out his- Amazon author page with 30 wrestling books. His latest book is KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews.

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