Extreme Rules 2012: That’s One Extreme Beast

Extreme Rules 2012
Date: April 29, 2012
Location: All State Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for another WWE PPV and we’re in Chicago again. It’s a triple main event with Bryan vs. Sheamus 2/3 falls, Punk vs. Jericho in a Chicago Street Fight and Cena vs. Lesnar in an Extreme Rules match, which is clearly different than a Chicago Street Fight because….uh…..oh because one has the word Chicago in it. I’m somewhat excited about this show so let’s get to it.

US Title: Santino Marella vs. The Miz

This is on the pre-show because the US Title doesn’t have any place on a PPV right? Santino is defending. Before the match Miz goes on a rant about how he was in the main event last year and then won the power for Ace at Mania but he’s on the pre-show here. It seems like they’re teasing a tease of face turn for him.

Miz gets sent to the floor quickly and heads back to said floor when Santino loads up the Cobra. Back in Miz stomps him down and hits a kick to the head for two. Some knees to the chest/head get two so it’s time for some chinlockery. The fans are totally behind Santino of course. Low DDT gets two. Miz’s running clothesline hits in the corner and a top rope ax handle gets two. Quick rollup gets two for the champ. Miz quickly takes him down but jumps into a right hand. Santino starts his comeback and here’s the Cobra. Miz charges into the corner, misses, and the Cobra retains at 4:37.

Rating: D+. This was any TV match you could imagine. There was nothing to see here and while it was ok, this really shows how far Miz has fallen. It’s not that he lost to Santino, but rather that no one is really surprised that he did. That’s the much more telling idea to me. Not a horrible match and it’s probably good that this wasn’t on the PPV.

Time for the actual PPV now.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Falls count anywhere. Orton starts fast and goes to the corner but gets caught by an uppercut and knocked to the floor. Kane gets the lead pipe despite this being just falls count anywhere. Orton gets the pipe and gets in a few shots as they go to the floor. Orton pounds on him up against the barricade and they go into the crowd. It’s one of those “I hit you so naturally you stumble forward five steps then I hit you again.”

Kane comes back with some right hands and the low dropkick for two. They go up the stands and then down towards the stage. This has been 90% punches. Orton dropkicks him by the stage for two. They go backstage and into the halls. A bunch of people are watching the show and Ryder jumps Kane, pounding him in the back with forearms. They don’t work but him trying is more than he’s ever done.

Orton saves him with the backbreaker which gets two. They head back down the hall and Kane throws a small table at Orton, clearly not hitting him but Randy is nice enough to go down for two. They head back to the ring and Orton hits the powerslam. Orton gets in some chair shots and they head to the floor. He loads up the announce table but Kane fights out of it. No chokeslam as Orton fires off some elbows to the head, so it’s the elevated DDT on the floor instead. Somehow driving a man’s head into a thin mat over concrete only gets two.

Kane shoves off an RKO attempt to send Orton into the post for two. Back in the ring Kane goes up but Orton manages to pull off his dad’s superplex for two. Orton goes Viper but the RKO is countered again. Chokeslam hits for two and Kane has a small fit. He sets for a tombstone on the chair but gets caught in the RKO onto it for the pin at 16:48.

Rating: B-. It was a good brawl but a lot of it was just them walking back and forth and punching. The in ring stuff was a lot better and the Ryder interference was a nice touch. It’s three months late but it was nice. This should end the feud though, and as long as it doesn’t lead to Mahal vs. Orton I’m cool with that.

FULL MATCH - Randy Orton vs. Kane - Falls Count Anywhere Match: Extreme Rules 2012 (WWE Network)

Eve and Ace are in the back and liked the first match. They have the Raw Roulette wheel behind them and Eve has Teddy bring in champagne. He has the massive nametag too. Ace gets a call from HHH and has to go. It doesn’t seem to be anything bad.

Brodus Clay vs. Dolph Ziggler

The “smart” fans chant for Ziggler and they go to the floor quickly. Swagger runs over Brodus to put him down and get him in trouble for the first time. Back in Ziggler pounds on him but Brodus comes back with a headbutt. A knee lift misses and the Fameasser gets two. Another dropkick gets one and it’s time for a modified sleeper. Brodus stands up and easily throws Ziggler over. Dolph tries a suplex and is easily thrown off. Brodus gets all fired up and shakes, including a shot to Swagger. Headbutt to the ribs sets up the splash for the clean pin at 4:19.

Rating: C. This is EXACTLY what Brodus needed. He’s squashed jobbers for months now so a real win where he had to fight off some people is a great upgrade for him. Ziggler hammered away on him and certainly didn’t get squashed, which is how you make someone like Clay look great. Good stuff.

We see the wheel being spun for the IC Title match and it’s a tables match. This is somehow Teddy’s fault. Big Show is pleased.

Intercontinental Title: Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes

Show quickly backdrops him and we go to the floor. He hits the chop up against the barricade and sets up the first table in front of the announce table. Cody tries to get in a few shots but gets thrown around with ease. There’s another table set up in the corner of the ring now.

Show tries to throw him through that one but Cody runs up the table and hits the Disaster Kick in a sweet move. Show knocks him to the floor again and Cody tries for a table. This goes about as well as you would expect and a clothesline puts him down. Show tries to get back in and Cody kicks him down, sending Show feet first through the table for the title at 4:36.

Rating: D. Cody got DESTROYED for four weeks since Wrestlemania, lost to Khali, lost to Big Show, but SWERVE: he wins the title here. This is why the midcard is dead and the titles mean nothing: why should we buy Cody as champion after the beatings he’s taken for the last month? Someone explain this to me.

Show destroys the champ post match because that’s the best way to make Cody look strong Show puts him through two tables. Cody manages to walk to the back because that’s supposed to make it all better I guess.

Bryan explains why he’s better than Sheamus: he gets better chicks, he has a better beard and he doesn’t have five pounds of corned beef in his stomach. Bryan insults the crowd to try to get them to stop cheering him but then does a YES sequence….which gets a NO reaction. AJ is watching but Bryan doesn’t see her.

We recap Bryan vs. Sheamus. It was 18 seconds at Wrestlemania, Bryan snapped and threw out AJ, this is the 2/3 falls rematch.

Smackdown World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Two out of three falls. The fans have seemingly forgiven Bryan in the last three minutes. They do big match intros and Sheamus doesn’t get the best reaction. It’s not really hatred but he’s not that well liked. He has an 18 seconds shirt which is a nice touch. Sheamus takes him to the mat quickly but Bryan pops up. Quick Brogue Kick attempt misses and Bryan grabs the arm.

They trade some technical stuff and Sheamus hits the fireman’s carry slam for two. Sheamus hooks a Texas Cloverleaf out of nowhere which is like his fourth finisher but Bryan makes the rope. It wasn’t a half bad one either. Sheamus tries it again but gets rolled up for two. Bryan fires off some shots and they head to the floor, but Bryan’s running knee is caught into a spinebuster into the barricade.

Back inside Sheamus goes up but gets crotched and falls into the ring. Bryan drops a bunch of knees and hooks an armbar. He bends the fingers back and bends the shoulder back in a SCARY looking angle. Sheamus rolls to his back to keep from having his shoulder destroyed and gets back to his feet. Bryan takes him down and hits a low dropkick for two. He chokes on the ropes because HE HAS TIL FIVE!

Bryan stays on the arm but Sheamus knocks him to the apron for the forearms. Sheamus charges into the corner and gets caught in a drop toehold into the buckle and kicked in the face for two. They go to the corner where Bryan’s rana is countered. The top rope shoulder gets two as this is getting good. Sheamus charges at Bryan but goes over the top to the floor. He may have hurt his ankle. Back in the High Cross is countered into a rollup for two.

YES Lock is countered twice but Sheamus charges into the post shoulder first. Bryan wraps the shoulder around the post and fires off about 15 kicks which is good for a DQ for Sheamus at 14:35. LAME. Bryan seems fine with it though. The second fall begins a few seconds later and Bryan hits a running dropkick in the corner. YES Lock goes on and stays on for a good while. Sheamus starts to lose consciousness and passes out to tie it up at 16:45.

The doctors come in to see if Sheamus can continue and Sheamus says let’s go. The fans are chanting YES/NO through this. Bryan charges into a kick to the face which only gets two because of a delayed cover. Big kick to the side of Sheamus’ head gets two. Bryan goes up but misses his dive. A charge misses and here come the ax handles. Irish Curse puts Bryan down and the Brogue Kick ends this clean at 23:00.

Rating: A-. Yeah this worked. If this was what Sheamus had won the title with at Mania I don’t think anyone would have complained. It’s probably Sheamus’ best match ever and the kind of win he needed. Having him pass out was a nice touch as instead of having him tap and look mortal he kept fighting which is the right move for him. Very good match here and the pickup this show needed.

FULL MATCH - Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan - 2-out-of-3 Falls Title Match: Extreme Rules 2012

Aaron Relic/Jay Hatton vs. Ryback

The Jobbers combine to weigh 340lbs. Santino and Khali are watching in the back. I like this “let’s watch Ryback” idea. They give a pro-Math promo to start the match. They keep saying 2 is greater than 1 and even Cole is ripping on them. The fans chant Goldberg and I can’t really argue. Let’s say Hatton starts with a pair of kicks that do NOTHING. A forearm does nothing. There’s a big boot to put him down and Ryback throws him into a powerslam. He drags Hatton to his corner and pulls the other jobber in. There’s the huge clothesline and the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder kills jobber #2. MuscleBuster for the pin at 1:50.

Punk says that Jericho hasn’t proven anything yet and Punk has proven that he’s better than anyone else. Jericho is waking up with a hangover tomorrow because of the GTS.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Jericho said Punk would drink after he lost at Wrestlemania. Jericho lost at Wrestlemania so he poured alcohol over Punk and accused Punk of being drunk. This led to a field sobriety test which Punk faked being drunk for.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

It’s a Chicago Street Fight. They’re both in street clothes which is at least something different. They do big match intros and Punk is ungodly over. They stare each other down and it’s a brawl to start. Punk stomps him down into the corner and they head outside. Punk throws two chairs in and grabs a kendo stick, drawing an ECW chant. He gets in a few shots and tries a baseball swing at Jericho but Chris hits the floor.

Back in a clothesline puts Jericho down and it’s back to the stick. Punk’s sister is here in the front row and his parents are here somewhere. Jericho hides behind the referee and pokes Punk in the eye to take over. Out to the floor again and into timekeepers’ area but Punk gets in a shot. A headbutt puts the champion back down and he goes over in front of Punk’s sister.

Jericho gets in her face and gets slapped. He charges at her and that makes Punk snap. In something I’ve never seen before, Punk rips the top off the announce table and puts Jericho through the top of it. He tries a piledriver but Jericho shoves him off and takes over again, ramming him into the barricade which gets two in the ring. Chinlock time but it doesn’t last long. We lose a turnbuckle and Jericho fires off on Punk’s back with the kendo stick.

Jericho heads to the floor and finds a beer under the ring. That gives Punk a chance to catch his breath and he comes back with kendo stick shots to the back. Jericho comes back again and they go to the corner with Punk knocking him into Macho Elbow position. That only gets two as this is getting good. GTS is countered and Jericho throws him into a chair wedged between the ropes for two.

Codebreaker puts Punk down and Jericho smiles. He doesn’t cover but sets up the Walls. It’s the Liontamer and Punk is in trouble. Now it’s just the Walls because the Liontamer is too hard to get out of. Punk gets the rope but Jericho doesn’t let go because it’s a street fight. The champ finds a fire extinguisher under the ring and Jericho is kind enough to look over at him so it can be blasted into his face.

They go to the floor and Punk fires off some kicks. Jericho is laid out on the table so Punk goes up top and almost falls off the top. Now the Macho Elbow hits in a great looking dive. Jericho is holding the back of his head and seems mad at a chair. Back in the ring that somehow only gets two so Punk throws on the Anaconda Vice. Jericho tries for the kendo stick and gets in enough shots to Punk’s head to break the hold. Punk hits him in the ribs with a chair but Jericho grabs it for a Codebreaker which gets two. Jericho tries a GTS but Punk counters into a slingshot into the exposed buckle. GTS keeps the title at 25:10.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going but the near falls at the end were great. I don’t think anyone expected Punk to lose here and it wouldn’t have been right for him to. There’s no need for this feud to continue now as Punk has pinned Jericho and made him tap so there’s nothing left to prove. I’m not sure where either of them goes next but it should be interesting. Very good match.

Punk dives into the fans post match.

Eve is in the back and tells Beth there’s no medical clearance for her tonight. She says she’ll get the title back someday. Nikki doesn’t get the night off though and it’s a surprise opponent. Eve: “Don’t worry it’s not Kharma.”

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. ???

It’s Layla, who at least looks better than Kharma. She’s been gone what, a year? This is your basic Divas match with the Bellas trying to switch after a spin kick and Layla countering the facejam into the Layout Neckbreaker for the pin at the title at 2:26.

Ace says what he was on the phone with HHH about isn’t Striker’s business.

We recap Cena vs. Lesnar which I don’t think needs an explanation. This includes the 853^rd instance of the sitdown interview from Raw two weeks ago.

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar

This is an Extreme Rules match which means they’re in wrestling gear. Well Lesnar is in MMA gear but you get the idea. The fans are more behind Cena than Lesnar. Cena charges right into a takedown and Brock comes at him with the strikes. Cena is cut on the left side of his head. Cena grabs a quick front facelock but Lesnar is WAY too strong. He poundso n Cena even more and the doctor comes in to check the cut. The replay shows that it was an elbow to the head. They close or at least stop the cut and go back to it.

Cena charges in again and Lesnar pounds him right down. Brock hammers on him and knocks Cena to the floor with a knee. The doctors stop it AGAIN to check the cut. Cena hits a quick elbow and tries the FU but Lesnar escapes and hits two rolling Germans. Lesnar’s Gonna Kill You chant. Cena comes back with some elbows and the shoulder block but there goes the referee.

Cena hits the ropes again but Lesnar runs him over. Lesnar goes for the open wound and rubs Cena’s blood on his own chest. Brock throws on an armbar (screw that kimura crap. This is wrestling) and then throws Cena to the floor instead of cranking on it. To the floor and Brock throws it on again but lets it go a second time, throwing Cena into the barricade.

Back in and Lesnar gets Cena’s chain and lock. He puts it down and chains Cena’s feet together. Cena gets up and Brock hits what might have been the hardest clothesline I’ve ever seen. With the legs still tied together, Brock puts him in the Tree of Woe. Brock goes after the referee but Cena escapes. That goes badly again as Brock whips him into the steps. AA is countered again into an F5 attempt but Cena’s legs hit the referee.

A second referee comes out but Lesnar throws him out too. The steps are brought in and Cena says Brock can’t see him. Back into the armbar and this time there’s a body vice. They’re on the steps and the fans care cheering for Cena. He picks Brock up into kind of a spinebuster but his arm is hanging limp. Cena goes up but misses the Fameasser. He was about an inch from hitting the steps too.

Cena rolls to the floor and is spent. Lesnar looks around bur can’t find Cena. He gets up on the steps and sees Cena (hehe) who can barely get back in. Cena gets up on the apron so Lesnar gets a running start from the steps and hits kind of a Poetry In Motion move but crashes to the floor and hurts his knee. He’s fine but Cena has the chain. Brock charges again and Cena gets in the chain shot to clock Lesnar. I think Brock is busted now. Oh yeah he is and Cena’s head has a lot of blood there too. An AA onto the steps gives Cena the pin at 18:05.

Rating: A. WOW. This is going to be a disputed rating but this was an absolute war. Cena got one homerun shot to win it but that’s all he needed. Lesnar dominated about 95% of the match but it was good enough to make both guys look great. Lesnar can come back but Cena has the first win, which sets up a rematch where Lesnar can beat him. I had a blast with this and Lesnar looks AMAZING.

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar Extreme Rules Match highlights

Cena poses on the steps to end the show. Scratch that as he wants a mic. He sits on the steps and says that he’s going to get sent home for speaking when he’s not spoken to. Cena says that he’s going to go home for this anyway. He knows this is Punk’s town but above all else, this is a wrestling town. Tonight the people were supposed to see the extreme and that’s what they got. He can’t feel his arm and he’s glad it was in Chicago. Everyone gives everything they have every night and if he has to take a vacation so be it. Thanks for one last ride and get home safe. What…..what just happened here?

Overall Rating: A. I had a good time with this show. It started off weak but MAN the last few matches were hitting on all cylinders. Even the Divas match wasn’t that bad. The main event was something totally different than we’ve seen in a long time and that’s what it needed to be. I was thinking this would be a good show and the big stuff hit perfectly. Good stuff here and worth checking out.

 

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