Collision
Date: June 17, 2023
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness
It’s the debut episode of the new two hour Saturday night show and the big draw is the return of CM Punk. After being gone for about nine months due to an injury/suspension, Punk is back for a six man main event which has some potential. Other than that, the card looks decent enough so let’s get to it.
Opening sequence, set to Saturday Night’s All Right For Fighting by Elton John.
The fans are chanting for CM Punk so here he is, with a pair of shoes around his neck and a bag in his hand. Punk talks about how he’s back and fired of being nice. This is still the wrestling business and it’s for serious people. When he was fifteen years old, he wouldn’t have believed that he would sell out all kinds of buildings and arenas around the world. He’s tired of being nice and tell him when he’s telling lies.
Punk says he has made his career because he is uncompromising and that makes people uncomfortable. He is the truth and that makes people uncomfortable. FANS: “F*** THE ELITE!” He points out some pro and anti-Punk signs in the crowd and says you can call him whatever you want. He is the one genuine article in a business full of counterfeit bucks. The king is back and he has some things to get off his chest. He has a question for Chicago: why would he change?
If you’re here today and you feel he owes you an apology, here it is: he’s sorry that the only wrestlers softer than those who want an apology are the ones you like. He picks up the bag and implies that the World Title is in there, saying it’s his until someone can pin him or submit him or it. He takes the shoes off his neck and says he knows there are people who wanted him to leave them in the ring and walk away. Instead, he isn’t walking away until someone can fill those boots. Stop him when he’s telling lies.
TNT Title: Luchasaurus vs. Wardlow
Wardlow is defending and Christian Cage is here with Luchasaurus. They go straight to the brawling and fight to the floor, with Luchasaurus sending him into the steps for one back inside. Some shots in the corner drop Wardlow again and we take a break. Back with Wardlow hitting an electric chair and driving shoulders in the corner. Luchasaurus catches him on top though and a chokeslam brings him down for two.
Wardlow pops back up and loads up the Powerbomb Symphony but Christian gets on the apron. Not that it matters as Wardlow hits the first powerbomb, but spends too much time loading it up and gets chokeslammed for two. Wardlow tries to pick him up for something but can’t quite get it, instead settling for a powerslam. The Swanton makes it worse and Wardlow is fired up…but Christian takes a camera from a ringside photographer and breaks it over Wardlow’s head. Luchasaurus hits him from behind to win the title at 10:50.
Result: Luchasaurus b. Wardlow – Clothesline to the back of the head (10:50)
Post match Christian grabs the title and celebrates with it, as Luchasaurus never actually touches the thing.
QT Marshall says that Powerhouse Hobbs was never advertised to be WRESTLING tonight but he’s here anyway. He’ll win the Owen Hart tournament.
Andrade El Idolo vs. Buddy Matthews
Julia Hart is here with Matthews. The fans are happy to see Andrade and they start fast by running the ropes. Andrade does his hang in the ropes deal and avoids a charge to send Buddy outside. A cartwheel moonsault off the apron drops Matthews again and they crash onto the announcers’ table.
Back in and Matthews pulls him shoulder first into the post, followed by a knock off the apron and into the barricade. A top rope meteora gives Matthews two and we take a break. We come back with Andrade working on the leg and hitting the double moonsault for two. Matthews gets a hanging DDT but his knee gives out in the corner. That allows Andrade to hit a discus elbow but Matthews is back up with a jumping kick to the face for two. The Figure Four goes on and Andrade turns it into the Figure Eight for the tap at 13:05.
Result: Andrade El Idolo – Figure Eight (13:05)
Post match respect is offered but the lights go out. Cue the House of Black to lay Andrade out.
Here is Tony Nese, with Mark Sterling, to lead this out of shape crowd in exercise. We’ll start with stretching, but someone cuts him off.
Miro vs. Tony Nese
Miro runs him over to start and hits some of Sheamus’ forearms to the chest. Nese gets in a neck snap across the top and adds the Randy Savage jumping neck snap. Miro pulls his high crossbody out of the air but a Sterling distraction lets Nese get in a kick to the face. That earns him a Miro Up and a swinging release Rock Bottom plants Nese down. The camel clutch finishes Nese at 3:17.
Result: Miro b. Tony Nese – Camel clutch (3:17)
Video on CM Punk.
Ruby Soho/Toni Storm vs. Willow Nightingale/Skye Blue
Blue is the hometown girl. The Outcasts jump Blue and Nightingale to start and the beating is on outside before the bell. Storm even shoves Blue’s mom at ringside and gets slapped for her efforts. Nightingale Pounces Soho into the barricade and Blue adds a hurricanrana to drop Storm. The bell rings as Nightingale takes over inside, only to get taken into the wrong corner as we take a break.
Back with Nightingale clotheslining her way out of trouble and bringing Blue in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Nightingale plants Toni with a pumphandle slam. Storm is right back with the hip attack to each of them, setting up the spray paint. Nightingale isn’t having that though and the paint hits Soho by mistake. Code Blue finishes Soho at 8:04.
Result: Willow Nightingale/Skye Blue b. Ruby Soho/Toni Storm – Code Blue to Soho (8:04)
Ricky Starks is in the Owen Hart tournament.
Jeff Jarrett is ready to hurt Mark Briscoe….in a concession stand brawl!
Here are the Acclaimed and Billy Gunn for a chat. They’re so happy to be here that Billy bought a new scissoring outfit. They might as well stick around for Dynamite and here’s a scissoring to commemorate the moment. And that’s it.
Here’s what’s coming on various shows.
FTR/CM Punk vs. Samoa Joe/Bullet Club Gold
Harwood and White start things off with the latter firing off chops in the corner. A backdrop gets Harwood out of trouble so it’s off to Robinson for a strike off. Wheeler comes in for some dropkicks but a glare from Joe cuts him off. A gorilla press plants Robinson and it’s back to Harwood, who immediately hands it off to Punk. Wheeler hits a middle rope powerslam on Robinson with Punk getting two and calling for the Go To Sleep. That’s broken up so Joe comes back in for the big showdown. Joe chops away in the corner but gets pulled down into a chinlock as we take a break.
Back with Harwood caught in a chinlock before Robinson stands on his head. Harwood finally manages to get over to the corner and brings in Wheeler to clean house, including a rollup out of the corner for two on Robinson. A Rick Steiner powerslam gives Wheeler two and it’s back to Punk for a Demolition Decapitator and a near fall of his own.
We take another break and come back again with Robinson hitting a backsplash for two on Wheeler. Joe enziguris him in the corner but Wheeler grabs a belly to back suplex to drop Robinson. The hot tag brings in Punk to clean house but White rakes his eyes. White’s swinging Rock Bottom gets two but the Bladerunner is blocked.
Instead Punk takes him into the corner for the PowerPlex into Punk’s top rope elbow. Joe comes back in to take Punk out and everything breaks down. Joe gets the Koquina Clutch on punk and White sleepers Harwood. Wheeler breaks that up and Harwood makes the save, meaning it’s the Shatter Machine to Robinson. Punk adds the GTS for the pin at 25:12.
Result: CM Punk/FTR b. Bullet Club Gold/Samoa Joe – GTS to Robinson (25:12)
Punk and FTR celebrate to end the show with nothing interrupting them.
Results
Luchasaurus b. Wardlow – Clothesline to the back of the head
Andrade El Idolo b. Buddy Matthews – Figure Eight
Miro b. Tony Nese – Camel clutch
Skye Blue/Willow Nightingale b. Ruby Soho/Toni Storm – Code Blue to Soho
CM Punk/FTR b. Bullet Club Gold/Samoa Joe – GTS to Robinson
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You can find more from Thomas Hall at kbwrestlingreviews.com, or check out his- Amazon author page with 30 wrestling books.
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