Taboo Tuesday 2005: HHH’s First Old School Cage Match

A real blood bath.With Brock Lesnar challenging HHH for a cage match at Extreme Rules, I thought we should look back at HHH in one of the last violent and bloody matches in WWE history.

 

Taboo Tuesday 2005
Date: November 1, 2005
Location: iPayOne Center, San Diego, California
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler

We’re back for the final one of these Tuesday shows before we switch to the traditional Sunday. This is again a Raw show and is based around Cena vs. Angle vs. a person the fans will pick. The other good match on here is HHH vs. Flair for the IC Title where you pick the stips. Flair begged for it to be a cage match so what do you think was picked? Other than that there’s an interesting deal with Austin that we’ll get to later on. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about having power, which involves being a military general for some reason.

Edge and Masters come out before we had a chance to even have Jerry and Joey say who they are. Todd Grisham is the host just like last year. This is Raw vs. Smackdown and we get to pick the two Smackdown guys to be in the match. The choices are Christian (his contract was up and he showed up here and I think tomorrow on Raw as a courtesy before heading to TNA for about four years), Matt Hardy, Hardcore Holly, JBL and Rey Mysterio with Matt and Rey winning by wide margins.

Matt Hardy/Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Masters/Edge

This was during the Hardy vs. Edge war. Masters was a monster at this point but didn’t mean much. The keyboard on the stage is all random and isn’t anywhere near what a traditional one looks like. Rey as the hometown boy gets a huge pop. Something I hadn’t realized: Eddie died 12 days after this. Edge says he has nothing to prove here so he’s not wrestling.

Matt Hardy/Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Masters/Snitsky

Yeah this isn’t a bait and switch in the slightest. We have two referees in there too which is kind of odd. Rey gets a small package and both go for counts, resulting in an argument. It’s weird hearing commentators say last night and refer to Raw. Rey goes for that body scissors into the bulldog and they botch it. My guess would be Masters botched it but whatever.

Matt comes in to a bigger pop than Rey got which is really weird. Side Effect is called a Uranage by Joey. Matt kind of botches a top rope something and it turns into a DDT for two. This is sloppy beyond reason. Maybe it’s the Tuesday thing but with two of them being Smackdown guys this should be normal for them. I’m not sure if I get the idea of bringing in Smackdown but whatever.

Joey is only here for one night since Coach is wrestling and JR was fired due to some overly complicated storyline involving the McMahons that we’ll get to later. Now the fans want Christian. Damn they’re greedy in San Diego. Matt is working the majority here to set up the hot tag to Rey. There it is and Rey cleans house. Well most of it at least since he can’t reach the top shelves.

Masterlock goes onto Rey though and Rey is in trouble. He kicks off the corner and lands on Masters for a cover but the referees mess things up again. A pair of top rope dives take out the heels and a springboard sunset flip gets two. Masters does a spinning rack into a neckbreaker which is a move I’ve always kind of liked. 619 into the Twist of Fate into a springboard splash ends this.

Rating: C+. Not a great match but for an opener this worked pretty well. Rey and Matt are both popular guys and got the crowd going rather well. Edge not being in there is kind of crap and the double referee thing was overkill for sure. They really messed up with Matt though as he could have been a big deal but they just botched it. Not bad though.

Foley is in the back with Maria who is in his Mankind mask and he’s got her lingerie for later. Nudity allegedly ensues.

Ah apparently Edge was legit injured. If that happened on Raw or something that’s fine then.

Time to pick Eugene’s Legend partner. The choices are Kamala, Snuka and Duggan with the guy that dove off a cage winning barely over Duggan. I’m not bothering with the percentages this time.

Rob Conway/Tyson Tomko vs. Eugene/Jimmy Snuka

Conway was a cocky guy with a legend hating gimmick which was dumb since Orton had just gotten done doing that. So is Eugene supposed to carry this team? Snuka looks out of shape here, nearly three and a half years before he was at Mania last year. Eugene and Tomko start us off and we’re already into the comedy portion as Eugene does the one hand up one hand down routine for the Test of Strength.

Conway wears his sunglasses during the match. Ok then. Eugene and Conway were more or less the most dominant tag team in the history of OVW, winning like 9 tag titles. Jimmy is going to be on the outside for the most part here due to a high level of old. There’s the hot tag to him anyway and Snuka just looks confused. Then again he looked that way in his prime.

The faces play ping pong with Conway using headbutts. Eugene hits a Rock Bottom and the splash ends it after about 15 seconds of setting up. Tomko gets back from writing his novel or whatever he spent the last few minutes doing and Kamala and Duggan make the save. At least they kept it short.

Rating: D. This was a bad match but what did you expect? We knew Snuka would win with the splash but seriously, was Tomko the best they had available as a partner? He had nothing to do with this feud or angle or anything like that. This was a glorified handicap match that just wasn’t interesting at all. Like I said though, at least it was short.

Ad for the Taker Tombstone DVD, which I’ve never seen.

We determine which persona Foley will fight Carlito in. Mankind more or less dominates it, setting up this.

Carlito vs. Mankind

As Carlito makes his debut they plug Survivor Series in Detroit and they spell Joe Louis Arena as Joe Lewis instead. I know this place was bad back in this era but come on now. Foley had been a guest on Carlito’s Cabana and said Carlito wasn’t cool. This did result in us getting one of Foley’s awesome morphing promos where he starts as Love then shirts to Jack and then Mankind, which shows just how versatile Foley is.

Carlito is just such a waste of talent. He could have been awesome but was so painfully lazy in the ring that there was no choice but to get rid of him. It’s all Foley to start and we go to the floor. Foley even throws in a baseball slide of all things. Carlito takes over by slamming Mankind’s head into a chair and we’re clearly in a formula here which is ok.

Double clothesline and both guys go down. Mankind starts Social Outcasting Up and a Cactus Clothesline takes us to the floor where we get an elbow on top of that. Double Arm DDT and Socko end this. It never ceases to amaze me how Foley can use like 5 moves and have such a successful career.

Rating: D+. Pretty bad match here and I’m not sure if I get the idea of having Carlito job to a guy with Foley’s stature. I know Foley has had matches that mean more than Carlito’s entire career but I’m not sure I get the logic behind him going over. Although to be fair, the idea of Carlito pinning Mick’s corpse just sounds wrong. Maybe this was the right idea after all.

Vince arrives and wants to hear about the Raw vs. Smackdown match of all things. He jumps down Eric’s throat for losing the match and Eric blames Teddy Long who is relatively new as GM of Smackdown. Vice yells at him and tells him to get it together.

We pick the third guy in the main event tonight: Kane, Big Show or Shawn. Gee I wonder who is going to win this. Kane gets a surprising 38% but it pales in comparison to Shawn’s 46. Kane and Show get a lovely parting gift.

Raw Tag Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Big Show/Kane

Few quick notes here. Joey says they’re two tough Texans but are billed from Nashville. Also Lillian says they weigh 501. Not 501 pounds but just 501, as in she said five oh one. Not even five hundred and one. Just weird. Show has a beard here and Lillian slips up on HIS intro too. What is going on here? Murdoch starts with Kane and isn’t happy about it.

This is one sided so far and now I’d expect that to change just as I say it. Murdoch kicks Show a bit and that doesn’t work in the slightest. Can Show do anything other than chop? Kane goes for a big boot and somehow manages to hit Cade in the lower back. How are there so many mistakes in one single show? Murdoch shoves Kane to the floor off the top to finally give the champions an advantage.

Kane gets beaten down for awhile and then sits up just because he can. The champions just can’t threaten Show and Kane in the slightest. Show comes in to a lukewarm tag and after some domination, a double chokeslam to Cade ends this. Show gets interviewed afterwards but has to stop for a double chokeslam on Murdoch for fun.

Rating: D+. The lack of drama really hurt this as it was painfully obvious that the titles were changing. Like Kane and Show had any chance of losing here. I mean really did you expect otherwise? This was one of the staples of the show but it became pretty clear nothing would happen from it. Their reign lasted like 5 months and the next reign after theirs would end at the next one in this series.

Vader and Goldust are here. I guess I better explain since I’m going to have to in a bit anyway. So Ross had been fired for laughing at Austin stunning the McMahons at Raw Homecoming and Linda of all people fired him. Austin was going to have a match for Ross’ job against Coach (who brought in Vader and Goldust for no apparent reason to help him) and was booked to lose.

He left, not to be seen again for about five months. Batista was brought in and the Ross aspect was dropped. The firing (Ross actually was having health problems) was why Joey was here also. He would call Raw until May when he did a worked shoot where he bashed WWE, resulting in him taking over as commentator for the revived ECW the following June.

The Fantasy Battle Royal for the Divas will be in lingerie of course.

We recap the Austin being replaced by Batista thing where Austin leaving was blamed on an “accident”.

The choices are street fight, arm wrestling or verbal debate. Moving on.

Batista vs. Jonathan Coachman

Vader and Goldust are just with Coach here and aren’t actual participants. Vader is embarrassingly fat here. The street fight breaks 90% which is relatively low all things considered. Batista is Smackdown Champion here as if we needed any more assurance of the destruction here. The lackeys are in the ring too but it’s not like it really matters. This is back when Batista is still one of the hottest things in the world and just a freaking machine.

Goldust gets a kendo stick and beats up Big Dave with it and coach grabs a belt from the timekeeper. Batista gets loose after being whipped and it’s whipping time all over again as Batista of course destroys everything in sight, even managing what was supposed to be a spinebuster on Vader but he’s just too fat. Batista gets him up the second time though and it’s decent considering the size of that ass. Batista Bomb kills Coach to end it.

Rating: N/A. Given one week to set this up, this was about as good as it was going to get. Batista is no Austin, but then again who is? At least they got a big star to fill in which is as nice as they could have done. This was all on Austin and WWE did what they could for once, which is a very rare sight for them.

Shawn, who has won the main event vote twice in a row now, says he’s going to win. Angle, looking like he’s physically ill, comes up and says they don’t like each other but they agree they don’t like Cena. An alliance is offered and Shawn says he’ll think about it.

Raw Women’s Title: Battle Royal

Trish Stratus, Ashley Massaro, Mickie James, Maria, Candice Michelle, Victoria

They’re in lingerie and Trish comes in as champion. Mickie is brand new here and crazy/lesbian to an extent. The fact that they’re usually in lingerie makes this kind of stupid but Trish in underwear never gets old. What kind of battle royal has six people in it? Mickie saves Trish and there’s of course no flow or structure to speak of here. Joey says you have to go over the top and Maria of course goes through the ropes to get rid of her.

Candice does her stupid Go Daddy dance on the apron and Ashley drills her and we’re down to four. Victoria puts Ashley out and this needs to end. And then after Mickie saves Trish a few times she and Victoria go out at the same time. This was awful. Mickie steals the interview time by saying how great Trish is. She was really good at this psycho girl.

Rating: N/A. This was about the girls being hot and that pretty much worked but considering the clothes they usually wear, this is nothing special.

For buying Taboo Tuesday you get a month free of 24/7 online. Not bad.

We recap HHH vs. Flair. HHH had been gone after losing a Cell match vs. Batista. He came back for a tag with Flair and of course turned on him afterwards. The explanation was that HHH gave Flair another chance at greatness but it was only by association. That makes sense and is a solid reason for a match. Simple stories sometimes are the best choices and this is a prime example of that.

Flair begged to make this a cage match and of course that’s what it is. The other options are one fall to a finish, as in a regular match, submission or cage. Cage of course breaks 80% to win.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. HHH

Flair is champion here and while HHH said it was mediocrity for Flair, he doesn’t mind trying to win the title. Some have called this Flair’s last great match, although I think that was before the Shawn match at Mania. It’s pin/submission/escape here. HHH sits on top of the cage to do the water spit. For some reason I can’t take this serious as a blood feud considering Flair is all in pink. Ah good the tights are black and the boots are red. I can live with that.

Flair drops a very audible F Bomb and says give me your best fucking shot. Chops vs. punches begin here and HHH is in trouble, although it’s a minute in so far. Flair can really only throw chops here but then again it’s relatively early in it. He’s the first one to go into the cage and he’s of course busted badly. I love when he’s on the mat and screaming for mercy. It’s hilarious for some reason.

HHH rakes his face across the steel and is in complete control here. With Flair leaning against the cage, HHH hits a running splash. Yes that’s correct and it looked painful. Flair is bleeding a gusher and the fans begin to cheer for him. Both guys get crotched as Flair stops HHH from leaving. HHH gets a chain from somewhere which I think he had stashed on the cage.

It’s been about 80/20 HHH in control thus far. Flair can curse with the best of them. HHH gets the Figure Four on Flair as this is probably going to go for a long time. The third F Bomb in about twelve minutes is uttered and Flair gets to the ropes for the break. Yep in a cage match. I can’t stand rules like that at times. HHH gets busted open and it wakes Flair up somehow.

This is a bloodbath for the most part and some idiot has to chant boring despite this being a good match so far. Flair goes after the bad knee of HHH that was torn up in 2001. Flair gets the Figure Four and HHH is in trouble. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Flair looks horrible as the hold is broken. He hits the top rope shot, which is a jumping chop/punch.

Flair almost gets out but is stopped, not before he gets a chair though. He did this last year and I never got why. Flair grabs HHH by the balls to stop a beatdown though. That’s always an odd move. Some chair shots to the head of HHH and Flair actually wins this clean. He looks mostly dead but he won it.

Rating: B. I can’t go higher than that for some reason but this was a great match. It was old school Flair here as he just went insane to beat HHH here which isn’t something you see out of him in this era. This was a very old school style match where it was more about violence than escape or anything like that.

The idea was for Flair to get one last hurrah, but it kind of makes HHH look pathetic that he can’t beat Flair at this age. Still though, by far the best match of the night. HHH gets cheered as he’s carried out.

Ad for the Mania Anthology, which really was awesome to have finally.

Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

This is really about Shawn vs. Angle but they needed another guy in there I guess since Vince needs his triple threat. This is also about starting up Cena vs. Angle since Jericho retired and that was the big feud for Cena at the time. This is Cena’s first title reign, having won it at Mania from JBL in what should have been a longer match.

This is also a very different Cena as he’s still kind of a glorified midcarder without the luster about him. Batista is by far the bigger star at this point and Cena could be the weakest guy in this match. He might not even have the STFU yet.

It’s your usual match to start us off as everyone controls for a little bit. The whole team up thing mentioned earlier is thrown out within ten seconds. Kurt starts throwing people all over the place and gets Shawn’s ankle. Finishers are countered early on and Cena gets some near falls. They double team him and the fans get hyped over it for the first time in a good while.

The destruction of Cena begins and he goes through the announce table. Angle and Shawn start hammering on each other as we’re REALLY into the formula part here. Shawn vs. Angle is always worth seeing though so I can’t complain at all here. They do their usual great match for about five minutes while Cena regains life on the floor. Running Angle Slam from the top gets two.

Cena pops back up and cleans house with those shoulder blocks. I love moves like those where you just throw yourself into the other person. How can you block something like that? Shawn takes over now and I’d expect Kurt to do the same very soon. Angle pops a belly to belly over the top in a great looking spot. Cena goes insane as he’s known to do but winds up in the ankle lock.

Two kicks don’t break the hold and the leg lace is on. Shawn of course takes the long way to break it up, dropping an elbow so that Cena is in the hold for like a minute straight. Kurt gets kicked and then Cena pops up for the FU on Shawn to retain. Good to see that ankle heel in less than 30 seconds.

Rating: B-. If there as a B- – it would get that. When a match’s longest segment is Shawn vs. Angle it’s pretty clearly going to be good. This definitely wasn’t bad but there was never any real drama to it as Shawn and Angle were clearly going to cancel each other out. This got the ball rolling on Angle vs. Cena which was the title match at Survivor Series. Good match, but the selling by Cena hurt the ending a lot in my eyes.

Overall Rating: D. This show was pretty bad. The cage match is good and if you’re a fan of old school style or Flair it’s worth checking out, but it’s an acquired taste. The main event is pretty good but it’s nothing we haven’t see a dozen other times. Overall, this show comes off as unnecessary.

Other than Flair winning the match which didn’t end the feud and the new tag champions, nothing of note comes out of this and the title switch could have been at any show. This just didn’t need to happen and wasn’t that good. It picked up a bit with the shift to Sundays but other than that it just never was worth the time. Take a pass.

 

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