AEW Rampage Results - March 31, 2023

Rampage
Date: March 31, 2023
Location: Chaifetz Arena, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross, Chris Jericho

It’s time for the show that is stuck in the middle of the biggest weekend of the wrestling year. In this case, it’s going to be hard to find something that gets a lot of attention and there is a very real chance that AEW might punt here and wait for more eyes to be on them. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Konosuke Takeshita vs. Sammy Guevara

Guevara has Tay Melo with him. Guevara gets on commentary’s nerves to start but Takeshita knocks him back a bit. Takeshita takes the leg out to put Guevara down and even strikes his pose as we see Darby Allin watching in the back. Guevara drops Takeshita over the top rope and hits a big top rope flip dive to take him down again.

Back in and Takeshita kicks him to the floor instead, setting up the big no hands flip dive. They both go up top with Guevara biting his way out of a German superplex. There’s a running stomp to bring Takeshita out of the Tree of Woe and we take a break. Back with Takeshita reversing a brainbuster into one of his own and grabbing a German suplex.

Guevara flips out of another one though and catches Takeshita in a standing Spanish Fly for two. Takeshita pulls him out of the air for a Blue Thunder Bomb for two and goes up top. That’s cut off by Guevara but Takeshita knocks him off the top. A hard clothesline connects but Melo grabs Takeshita’s ankle, allowing Guevara to hit the GTH for the pin at 9:41.

Result: Sammy Guevara b. Konosuke Takeshita – GTH (9:41)

And now, QTV (JR: Really?”), with a discussion of who should be the next challenger for Powerhouse Hobbs. That doesn’t last long so QT Marshall talks about debuting the Dirt Sheet Driver, which he stole from Japan, so “the marks already love it”. Maybe he could hit it four times in a row and call it the Dirt Sheet Symphony.

Matt Hardy has drawn up Ethan Page’s contract for his match with Hook on Dynamite. Page doesn’t know what’s in it but signs (as Hook has already done). Hardy even winks at the camera as Page signs.

Best Friends vs. House Of Black

Trent hits a standing Meteora on Black to start and drives him into the corner. Chuck comes in but Trent gets knocked off the apron, leaving Chuck on his own against both monsters. King lariats Chuck down for two and sends Trent outside to keep up the beating. We take a break and come back with Trent getting the hot tag to clean house.

Trent hits the big running flip dive to drop King on the floor, followed by a missile dropkick to Black for two. The half and half Soul Food combination drops Black again but King is back in to…get low bridged to the floor actually. Everyone heads outside and King powerbombs Chuck through the table. Trent hits King with a chair and it’s a double DQ at 9:24.

Result: House Of Black vs. Best Friends went to a double DQ (9:24)

Post match the beatdown stays on so Orange Cassidy comes out for the save….and gets laid out on the stage by Buddy Matthews.

Video on Keith Lee vs. Swerve Strickland.

Marina Shafir vs. Taya Valkyrie

Cue Jade Cargill and company to watch as Shafir goes with the grappling to start. Taya powers up and knocks Shafir away, setting up a quick Road To Valhalla for the pin at 2:37.

Result: Taya Valkyrie b. Marina Shafir – Road To Valhalla (2:37)

Post match Mark Sterling sends the process server (Tootie) to the ring to sue Taya, who gives her Road To Valhalla as well.

Anna Jay is ticked off at Julia Hart for mocking her broken ribs. Jay: “I have a fat a** and a bad attitude.” She promises to choke Hart out.

Juice Robinson is ready to beat up Action Andretti on his way to facing Ricky Starks.

Here’s what’s coming on future shows.

Action Andretti vs. Juice Robinson

Andretti starts fast by climbing the corner for a springboard armdrag. Robinson takes him into the corner and chops away while shouting about Ricky Starks. A headscissors drops Robinson though and we take a break. Back with Robinson hitting a gutbuster and driving a knee into the ribs. Robinson whips him into the corner as Excalibur talks about how Robinson has been using his power to keep control. Andretti manages to send him outside for an Asai moonsault, setting up a springboard clothesline back inside. Robinson kicks him in the face though and hits the forward DDT for the pin at 9:02.

Result: Juice Robinson b. Action Andretti – Forward DDT (9:02)

Post match Ricky Starks runs in to chase Robinson off to end the show.

Results
Sammy Guevara b. Konosuke Takeshita – GTH
Best Friends vs. House Of Black went to a double DQ
Taya Valkyrie b. Marina Shafir – Road To Valhalla
Juice Robinson b. Action Andretti – Forward DDT