The Sunday Papers

Between the ‘sheets

– WWE released their Q4 2012 earnings report this week. Some people may find some interesting stuff in there, but I am not one of those people.

– John Cena defeated CM Punk in the WWE title number one contendership match on Raw this week, meaning the Rock v Cena WrestleMania main event is re-confirmed. The match itself has received high praise from nearly everyone, despite Punk suffering from jet lag and flu, according to JR. WWE has made the match available in full on their YouTube channel, but only in the US.

– Contrary to many predictions that Jack Swagger’s push would be up in smoke following his arrest last week, it appears he’ll be rolling up to WrestleMania as planned. I’ll be blunt, there’s no excuse for driving impaired, and I’m sure WWE and Zeb Colter – who lost his granddaughter to a drunk driver last year – have made a joint effort to show Swagger the error of his ways, but calls for a public stoning are harsh. Some feel the publicity from the Glenn Beck situation saved Swagger from a suspension, but either way he’ll still be blazing a trail to the world title match in April. I’ll weed out all the false reports and give you the full story as it comes.

– Brock Lesnar returned to TV this week to aid Paul Heyman in his brawl with Vince McMahon. Before Lesnar could get involved however, Triple H also returned to even the scores. Triple H did well to stand up to the beast, but did show some telltale signs of fear. WWE, of course, switched to black and white in all recaps of the segment to save Hunter’s embarrassment. Or maybe to cover for all the blood Lesnar had on his face, because, you know, it’s not blood if it’s in black and white. It’s chocolate sauce. Chocolate sauce from a deep cut that required 18 staples to close. Both men have been promoted for shows leading into WrestleMania.

– Did Triple H, or did Triple H not, piss his pants on Raw? Either way, he’s likely had no fewer than a million comments about it on his new Twitter account. And not long after he signed up, so did his wifey Stephanie McMahon. So far neither of them have said anything interesting.

– Tomorrow night is Old School Raw, which was awesome when they did it in November 2010. Will it work a second time? Maybe, especially considering we’ll be witnessing the return of the Nature Boy himself.

Speculation corner: WrestleMania edition!

– Undertaker didn’t show up on Raw as (yet again) expected this week, but the rumours of CM Punk being his 21st defeated are stronger than ever. Will Monday night be the night he returns? Probably, but I’ve said that before.

– The Rhodes Scholars and Truth & Kingston seem to be continuing their rivalry, so expect that one to fill a few minutes on the undercard.

– Sheamus appears to be feuding with both the Shield and Wade Barrett, so it’s unclear what his plans are. There’s been suggestions of Sheamus, Ryback and Orton teaming up to beat the Shield, but where does that leave the IC champion?

– There was a very short-lived rumour of Jericho v Ryback, but that was dropped pretty quickly. As was Ryback’s heel turn. Whatever Jericho is doing will have to wait another couple of weeks while he tours Australia with Fozzy.

– The latest rumour I’ve heard was Big Show v Mark Henry, which would require one of them to turn and I don’t see that happening. It’s also a match we’ve seen many times before, so I’m hoping that’s not where they go.

And finally…

– The #BabyfaceDickery award goes to Bully Ray this week for drinking Chris Daniels’ appletini and spitting it back into the glass, then throwing it in Daniels’ face. This is excellent heel work and vintage Bully Ray, but unfortunately Ray isn’t a heel right now.