Impact Wrestling
Date: August 10, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan
We’re still on the way to Emergence and the card is starting to come together. That being said, we also have Multiverse United coming up in less than two weeks and that card could use some build of its own. Other than that, we have a new monster heel group, though Lio Rush might not be all in. Let’s get to it.
Opening recap.
Tag Team #1 Contenders Tournament First Round: Rich Swann/Sami Callihan vs. Bullet Club
Bey takes Swann into the corner to start so Austin can hit a running kick in the corner. Swann gets over to Sami for the tag though and it’s the shoulder breaker into a kick to Austin’s head. Bey is kicked down and the Cactus Driver drops Austin on the apron as the Club is in early trouble.
Bey gets in a shot of his own to put Callihan down and we take a break. Back with Swann being knocked to the floor but Bey’s clothesline hits post. The tag brings Callihan in for a Death Valley Driver before it’s already back to Swann. Bey’s brainbuster is escaped and Austin kicks Bey in the head by mistake.
That doesn’t seem to matter as Swann is sent outside for a double superkick to Callihan. 1-2-Sweet gets two with Swann making a diving save. Austin hits a spinning kick to Callihan’s head and adds a double stomp but cue the Good Hands to break up the cover. Austin gets dropped by Skyler and Callihan (who didn’t see Skyler) hits the Cactus Driver for the pin at 15:16.
Result: Sami Callihan/Rich Swann b. Bullet Club – Cactus Driver to Austin (15:16)
Santino Marella is in the back when the Coven comes in to interrupt (Wilde: “Just the muggle we’re looking for.”). They want the next shot at the Knockouts Tag Team Titles, but here are the Death Dollz to say they want the shot instead. Reasons of “we’re awesome” don’t convince him, so they have a huddle. Santino joins the huddle, and suggests listing off some of their previous wins. Jessicka lists them off, in a Santino accent, and Santino thinks about it. Cue MK Ultra, to say they’ll take them all.
Bhupinder Gujjar vs. Dirty Dango
Alpha Bravo is here with Dango. Gujjar takes him into the corner to start but Dango elbows him in the face. Some knees to the back set up a chinlock but Gujjar fights up and gets two off a spinebuster. Bravo breaks up the Gargoyle Spear though and Dango hits a reverse layout DDT for the pin at 3:54.
Result: Dirty Dango b. Bhupinder Gujjar – Reverse layout DDT (3:54)
Post match Dango insults the fans until Jake Something interrupts. Something doesn’t like hearing how much Dango hates wrestling so he can get out of here He threatens to make Dango leave but it doesn’t get that far, as Dango leaves on his own. Dango tries a cheap shot and is quickly knocked outside.
The Design talks about Eric Young running off for greener pastures and then coming back. Deaner is NOT a failure and Young will be destroyed.
Johnny Swinger thinks Simon Diamond is back but gets interrupted by Kenny King and Sheldon Jean. King says Swinger is old and talks about how being the Digital Medical Champion means more than being the World Champion. Swinger: “What’s the internet daddy?”
Alisha Edwards vs. Jody Threat
Eddie Edwards is here with Alisha. Threat forearms away to start but gets caught in the ropes for a pull down by the hair. Edwards chokes away on the ropes as Eddie gets in some quality yelling. Threat fights up but Eddie trips her down, only to have Frankie Kazarian jump him from behind. The distraction lets Threat hit Pop Shove It (I think? It’s an F5.) for the pin at 4:38.
Result: Jody Threat b. Alisha Edwards – Pop Shove It (4:38)
Post match Kazarian pulls back the kendo stick to hit Eddie but hits Alisha on the back swing by mistake. Alisha goes straight to the mat like she’s been shot.
Deonna Purrazzo wants KiLynn King next week.
Mike Bailey vs. Kushida
Kushida drops to the mat and tries to pull Bailey down before settling for a wristdrag. A kick to the chest drops Bailey again but the fans are split. The bouncing kicks don’t do much to Kushida, who sends Bailey outside. Back in and we hit the surfboard to keep Bailey in trouble a bit longer. They chop it out until Bailey is knocked outside for a shoulder first ram into the post.
We take a break and come back with Kushida tying up the legs and cranking away with an Indian deathlock (with commentary pointing out that since Kushida had taken out the arm, Bailey would start using his legs so Kushida is staying ahead of him). Back up and the leg is fine enough to hit a springboard moonsault, only to miss something off the top.
Bailey strikes him down and tries the standing moonsault but gets caught in an armbar. That’s reversed into a cross armbreaker but Kushida makes the rope. Bailey kicks him in the face so Kushida hits him in his, only to have Bailey knee him in the face for two. The tornado kick looks to set up the Ultimate Weapon but Kushida pulls him down and hits Back To The Future for the pin at 17:55.
Result: Kushida b. Mike Bailey – Back To The Future (17:55)
Crazzy Steve has a sitdown interview with Matthew Rehwoldt, with Steve saying he needs his help. Steve has been trying to get Havok and Rosemary back, but now everyone, including Black Taurus, is turning their backs on him. That is normal for him as he has been abandoned before, including his vision, as he is legally blind. He’s been doing this for 21 years and you can imagine what that kind of pressure his bad vision puts on him. When asked about family, Steve says that’s a very interesting story and more on that later.
We look at Subculture defending the Tag Team Titles in the UK.
Subculture has their eyes on the #1 contenders tournament.
Joe Hendry pops up behind two fans, but they were actually summoning Yuya Uemura, complete with his own song. Hendry wants an explanation and they seem to like the idea of winning the Tag Team Titles together.
Team 3D will be back at Impact 1000. Cool.
Here’s what’s coming on various shows.
Moose/Brian Myers/Bully Ray vs. Black Taurus/Laredo Kid/Samuray del Sol
Hold on though as we cut to the back where del Sol (better known as Kalisto) has been attacked by Lio Rush. We take a break and start the match 3-2, with Myers teasing a test of strength with Taurus, only to grab a headlock instead. Taurus runs him over instead so it’s off to Moose vs. Kid, with the latter headscissoring him to the floor. Back in and Taurus shoulders Ray down but Myers pulls Ray to safety as we take a break.
We come back with Taurus having to fight away from Ray and handing it back to Kid. A tornado DDT plants Moose and there’s a hurricanrana to Ray. Back up and Ray takes Kid down though, allowing Myers to stomp away. Ray goes for Kid’s mask….and PCO is back. Moose is tossed outside and Myers gets crushed with a flip dive, leaving Ray to get chased to the back. Kid frog splashes Myers for a VERY slow two, allowing Moose to take Taurus down. Myers hits the Roster Cut to finish Kid at 16:38.
Result: Moose/Brian Myers/Bully Ray b. Black Taurus/Laredo Kid – Roster Cut to Kid (16:38)
Post match Ray runs through the back and steals a car. PCO gets to said car but Ray speeds off, leaving PCO screaming to end the show.
Results
Sami Callihan/Rich Swann b. Bullet Club – Cactus Driver 97 to Austin
Dirty Dango b. Bhupinder Gujjar – Reverse layout DDT
Jody Threat b. Alisha Edwards – Pop Shove It
Kushida b. Mike Bailey – Back To The Future
Brian Myers/Moose/Bully Ray b. Black Taurus/Laredo Kid – Roster cut to Kid
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