Welcome to KB’s Old School (and New School) Reviews. I’ve been reviewing wrestling shows for over ten years now and have reviewed over 5,000 shows. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I’ll be posting a new review here on Wrestlingrumors.net, starting today. It could be anything from modern WWE to old school to indies to anything in between. Note that I rate using letters instead of stars and I don’t rate matches under three minutes as really, how good or bad can something that short be?
Date: June 21, 2019
Location: Boonton Elks Lodge #1405, Boonton, New Jersey
Commentators: Joey Emmitt, Russell Kayfest
It’s the third show from Independentwrestling.TV as I looked through a bunch of their offerings and picked out a few (all of which began with P for some reason). This is from Pizza Party Wrestling, because I needed to watch a show called Pizza Party Wrestling: Camp Moonsault. This looks like a tiny indy and that can go either way. Let’s get to it.
Commentary is done by different people in each match and that’s as close as I can get to figuring out any of their names.
We open in a hurry with the aftermath of a pre-show match, which means someone named Zachary Struts is on the mat and trying to get out of what seems to be a sleeping bag. This brings out “Tyrannosaurus Flex” Ezekiel James with his manager Jimmy Wayward for some shouting that I can’t understand. Commentary keeps talking over him too as Flex beats up the counselor (presumably the referee) and then stomps on Struts. A pumphandle powerslam plants Struts and more counselors show up to yell at James and Jimmy. None of this can be understood but it seems that we’re getting a match.
Ezekiel James vs. Oswald Project vs. Champagne Douglas vs. Suzaku
Apparently this is taking place instead of the camp talent show (oh sweet goodness it’s a theme show). Oswald, who commentary was made in a Petri dish in Wyoming, flips out of a headscissors attempt but gets his already small shirt ripped up. A big clothesline into a corkscrew moonsault misses James but Oswald muscles him up into a powerbomb. That’s broken up as well but Oswald bridges up ala Bray Wyatt.
A pinfall reversal sequence sees Oswald kicked outside so it’s Suzaku vs. Douglas taking their places. Suzaku hits a northern lights suplex into a Falcon Arrow for two with James making the save. That means a pop up uppercut to Suzaku and a hard clothesline to Douglas. The announcers make reference to James (the Tyrannosaurus) having short arms except….he doesn’t so it’s kind of weird. James holds up Suzaku and Douglas at the same time so Oswald hits a running moonsault into a reverse DDT to put everyone down.
Wayward grabs Oswald’s foot and gets kicked to the floor drawing over both James and Oswald to check on him. Well maybe you shouldn’t have kicked him. Douglas ducks a jumping knee from Suzaku and hits a Pele for the big knockdown. What was supposed to be a Phoenix splash is a Phoenix double knees to the chest to nearly kill Suzaku, with Oswald running in for the pin at 5:32.
Rating: D+. The gimmickery is strong with this one, but Oswald certainly got your attention with all of the bending and flipping he could do. Yeah it’s been done better before but it’s also something that is rather impressive because it stands out around here. James was intense but looks very standard. The other two are your run of the mill indy fare and nothing worth seeing.
Post match James beats everyone up but one of the counselors comes in to suplex him. Wayward leaves with the counselor.
Commentary and the ring announcer talk over each other again.
Camp Rich Jerks vs. Camp Moonsault
Rich Jerks: Matt Knicks/Craig Mitchell/Chris Castro
Moonsault: The Whisper/Van Valley/Matthew Aalon
The losers’ camp is turned into condos (sounds like something Maxwell Jacob Friedman would book). The Rich Jerks try to buy Moonsault off but the big brawl is on instead. The Jerks are sent into each other and run over, leaving Knicks to get crushed in the corner by the rather large Valley. Aalon and Whisper superkick Valley by mistake though and the Jerks take over.
We settle down into a normal match with Aalon getting caught in the wrong corner for some alternating beatdowns. Castro pulls at Aalon’s nose as the announcers try to figure out how much swearing they can do. Mitchell hits a standing moonsault and it’s back to Knicks for double knees to the back. It’s back to Castro to sit on Aalon’s chest and choke a lot, followed by a single forearm to put him down.
Mitchell comes back in and is so confident that he stands in the Moonsault corner and yells before charging across the ring into a pair of raised boots. The Jerks are smart enough to pull Whisper and Valley off the apron to block a tag though, meaning it’s a triple boot to the face for two on Aalon. More raised boots in the corner get Aalon out of trouble and he uses Castro’s back for a flipping hurricanrana to Castro. NOW the hot tag can bring Valley in to wreck some Jerks.
Whisper Aalon hit stereo flip dives to the floor, leaving Valley to try his own. Since that would be deadly, it’s a regular dive off the apron instead. Back in and it’s a series of suplexes, including a sleeper version from Valley. A running clothesline drops Valley and everyone is down. Back up and it’s the slugout between Valley and Castro until some superkicks from Aalon and Whisper take the latter down. An assisted flip dive from Aalon gives Valley two as Mitchell shoves Whisper into them for the break. And then Valley turns on his partners, leaving them to take stereo package piledriver for the double pin at 11:52.
Rating: C+. This was much better than the previous match, just due to the amount of action involved. That being said, the rest of the show is apparently shut down for the sake of building condos so we can all go home early. I’m not sure what the point is in this as it seemed to be as much of a layup as you could have, but never let it be said that this show makes sense.
Post match the Jerks try to take the Camp Moonsault sign….but it’s bolted to the wall so they can’t.
Faye Jackson vs. Johnny Cockstrong
Jackson has wrestled in ROH before and egads with the name here (whose singlet features a flexing chicken). There’s something funny about having the wrestlers come in through a door where you can see the parking lot outside. Before the match, Johnny wants a weapons check between his legs. Is he a Joey Ryan tribute wrestler? The referee decides that there will be, and I quote, “No dickqualifications”.
Jackson reaches down and Johnny bails into the corner as we’re in for, ahem, comedy here. Faye grabs a waistlock and gets pretty close to a certain area, much to Johnny’s annoyances. Johnny bails to the floor and the slow motion chase is on until Jackson somehow gets behind him for a low blow. A twerking Stinkface onto his crotch ensues in the front row is kicked away and they head back inside. Johnny goes his own dance, rubs himself, and then puts his hands on her face.
Some running hip attacks in the corner have little effect so Jackson tries a low blow, only to hurt her own knee. Johnny tries a running crotch attack but gets hit with the hip attack for a double knockdown. They trade knee/hip strikes to the face until Jackson gets two off a seated senton out of the corner. Johnny takes her down again and gives her a slow motion steam roller, including laying his crotch on her face. Jackson’s face goes inside his trunks but she slips out and hits a Michinoku Driver for the pin at 7:28.
Rating: F. I need a Joey Ryan match to pick up the dignity. Moving on to ANYTHING else.
KTB vs. O’Shay Edwards
Edwards has impressed me before. KTB is just a guy in a black tank top while Edwards looks like a monster. They do the big lockup to start with neither going anywhere off a shoulder. KTB knocks him outside and they slug it out on the floor for a change. Edwards gets caught in the ropes for a kick to the head but is right back with a good spinebuster. Back up and Edwards hits a rolling shoulder to the ribs in the corner, followed by a clothesline for two.
Edwards catches a crossbody and muscles him up for a suplex in some impressive power. Back up and they slug it out with Edwards getting the better of it until it’s stereo crossbodies for a double knockdown. It’s Edwards up first and grabbing an Oklahoma Stampede for two. KTB raises a boot to stop something off the middle rope only designed to land on a raised boot. Edwards runs him over again and the straps come down…but KTB gets in another knockdown. A middle rope moonsault (how appropriate) finishes Jackson at 10:04.
Rating: C-. It was fun for the hoss battle stuff but it went on for a bit too long and KTB was completely outshined by Edwards, who looked a lot more polished. Then he lost anyway, which would suggest that KTB is the local guy and Edwards is there as a low level name. It needed to be about three minutes shorter, but what we got was acceptable enough.
The post match celebration would suggest that KTB is known around here so the ending makes some more sense.
Alex Zayne vs. Brad Rush
Rush is a dirty farm boy in suspenders and carrying a jug of moonshine (naturally he’s billed from Kentucky). Zayne is about as stereotypical of an indy wrestler as you can imagine (not the worst thing), though his gear looks better than some of the usuals. He’s also introduced “from the nearest Taco Bell commentary”, which makes me want some lunch. Rush jumps him with a running knee at the bell and low bridges Zayne outside for the big dive.
Zayne catches him n the air though and the fight is on outside. The count is broken (with Rush flipping off the referee) and they keep fighting on the floor. A dive off of the announcers’ area takes Zayne down again and it’s back inside for two. Zayne, on his bad knee, sweeps the leg to put Rush down and a standing moonsault gets two more. Slingshot knees to the back keep Rush down and a standing shooting star press makes it even worse.
Rush gets smart by taking out the knee as the announcers speculate on a change in Zayne’s taco order messing up his timing. Zayne is right back up with the Baha Blast (starts as a side slam but he flips forward into a faceplant) for two. Rush gets two of his own with his feet on the ropes but since the referees are competent, he gets caught. Announcer: “NO MAS!” A buckle bomb is blocked with a poke to the eye as Rush was busted open in there somewhere.
They slug it out with Zayne saying bring it on, earning a hard slap to the face. That means Rush gets his head knocked off and a Saito suplex makes it even worse. Zayne misses a 450 and tweaks the knee, allowing Rush to hit a running knee to the knee (not something you often see). The logical leglock follows and the bell rings….for no apparent reason as the time hasn’t expired and Zayne didn’t tap. Zayne grabs the rope and we keep going as that seemed to be a miscue. With the knee suddenly fine, Zayne grabs a pumphandle into a spinning powerbomb for the pin at 12:08.
Rating: C. Zayne was moderately impressive while Rush was trying but not quite making me buy what he was doing. It was clear that Zayne was the more polished guy and what we got worked well enough. There were even some unique moves in there and the match went by pretty quickly. Zayne could be something with a lot more experience so it’s cool to see a prospect like this.
Here’s Still Life With Apricots And Pears (the current Chikara Young Lions Cup holder, a non-binary wrestler and I guess you would say a modern artist) to give us an arts and crafts demonstration. He talks about Galapagos tortoises before being offered magic markers for a drawing. That’s not cool but it seems that we’ll be having a match instead.
Still Life With Apricots And Pears vs. Sean Henderson
Henderson is a “modern day gangster” and the Interspecies Wrestling International Food Fight Invitational Champion. Indy wrestling is weird in case you were wondering. Also note that he is wearing pink and black tights with a skull logo and is named SEAN as 1996 explodes. Henderson starts with a springboard headscissors as Pears’ easel falls over in the corner. Pears is sent outside but Henderson’s dive gets caught in the ropes so Pears can take over. Referee: “GET IN THIS RING!” Commentators: “As opposed to the other ring.”
A kick to Henderson’s leg gets one and it’s off to the variety pack of leglocks. Pears even bridges back with one of them to bend the leg at a rather disturbing angle. A small package gets Henderson out of trouble for two but Pears slams him down and grabs the markers. Sean’s face is colored on and the leg gets bent around the ropes as Pears gets back on track. Henderson elbows him in the face and tries a slingshot but the knee is done.
It’s fine enough for some German suplexes (onto a marker), followed by an easel to Pears’ head for two. Back up and Pears throws something in Henderson’s face, meaning it’s time for COLORED MACARONI PIECES. Henderson backdrops him onto the macaroni though but his bulldog headlock is countered with a toss onto the macaroni, with the knee going straight in. A bulldog onto the macaroni gives Pears the pin at 7:12.
Rating: D+. Pears is someone who seems like he would be better with more promo time or a backstory (which I know exists but it isn’t something you can get here). The arts and crafts deal fit the theme of the show well enough, but it wasn’t long enough to go very far with all the comedy involved. Henderson was passable enough but really no one I’m going to remember anytime soon.
Atlantic City Scoundrels vs. The Crucible
The Scoundrels (Leo Zukko/Dom Truex) get annoyed when their music shuts down mid entrance. The Crucible (Evan Matthew Demorest/Matt Makowski) have nothing setting them apart but I needed a place to write their individual names. Zukko shoulders Matt down to start but has to fight out of an early cross armbreaker attempt. Matt isn’t done and suplexes him into another armbreaker, which is broken up just as fast.
Dom and Evan come in with the bigger Dom hitting an early shoulder and countering a leapfrog into an atomic drop. Evan headscissors him down and gets two off a standing moonsault. It’s back to Matt who is STILL going for that armbreaker and STILL can’t get it. Leo comes in to knee Matt in the back of the head and Truex adds an ax kick for two. We get the fourth failed cross armbreaker attempt from Matt as Dom makes a save, though a crossbody works a bit better for two.
The tag brings in Evan, who can’t hit a Blue Thunder Bomb on Dom. They head outside with Evan going up top, only to get crotched when Matt gets posted. Back in and Leo snaps off a DDT for two on Evan, who is right back with a belly to back flip into a DDT of his own. Evan completely misses a dragon rana, with Dom having to flip himself into the corner in a terrible looking spot.
Dom chokeslams Matt but gets caught with a heck of a backdrop driver for the group knockdown. Leo is up first and gets F5’d into a triangle choke but Dom powerbombs Evan onto his partner….after the hold was broken. Not that it matters as the Scoundrels are right back up with a reverse Magic Killer (the Royal Flush) for the pin at 11:56.
Rating: D. This was REALLY not good as it felt like two heel teams fighting and I had no idea who I was supposed to cheer for. On top of that there were several botches and the stuff they were doing felt sloppy and like it had no flow whatsoever. Just not a good match, even by lower level standards like this.
Tony Deppen vs. Rory Gulak
Deppen is a jerk who complains about everything while Gulak (Drew’s brother as you might have guessed) has a cape. They keep ducking early handshake attempts and yell at each other a lot with Rory waiting almost a minute and a half before hitting a chop. Some amateur exchanges go to Gulak so Deppen goes outside to grab….a broom? Back in and Rory easily takes him down before it’s time to circle each other some more.
They shout at each other with Deppen making fun of Rory’s gear, though Rory points out that Deppen is too poor to afford boots. An Octopus Hold has Deppen in some quickly escaped trouble and we hit the crisscross. Deppen goes even dirtier by blowing his nose on Rory’s face, earning himself some hard chops in the corner. It’s time for Deppen to head outside again, this time to grab a chair, because he wants this to be a “Jersey s***hole street fight”, which is a reference to Gulak appearing in the film The Trade with Nick Mondo.
The new rules are on with Deppen going low and forearming Gulak in the back of the head. The chair is loaded up but Deppen just has a seat before grabbing the chinlock. How teasing of him. Rory gets his nipples twisted so he dropkicks Deppen to the floor for the running flip dive. We get some choking with a macaroni necklace before Deppen is thrown through a bunch of chairs. The nipple twists are returned, followed by Deppen missing a running flip dive to send himself through the chairs again.
The chairs are thrown into Deppen’s face for a change but he’s fine enough to crotch Rory back inside. A Meteora in the corner gives Deppen two, followed by Rory’s superplex into a top rope splash for the same. Deppen is right back with a Shining Wizard for two more, only to have Rory drop toehold him onto the chair. The dragon sleeper makes Deppen tap at 15:56.
Rating: C. It was better because the two of them are more experienced and have wrestled on bigger shows but that doesn’t mean it was a very good match. The comedy wasn’t working for me, though Deppen being a complete jerk made up for it a lot. This felt like the biggest thing on the show so at least they got the choice for the main event right. Good action here, though the show was dragging by the end and it went a bit longer than it should have.
Rory poses a bit and we’re out without a sendoff.
Overall Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one as it was kind of all over the place. The theme was only there for part of it and the big match involving it went to the heels, who get to destroy the camp. It’s certainly not terrible as it’s not even two hours long, but there were a lot of times on here that I was looking at the clock to see how much more of it I had to sit through.
That’s never a good sign and it was the case here more than once. I know it’s a very small company (there might have been 100 people there) and that’s what it felt like a lot of the time, which made for a long two hours. Don’t bother with this one and order pizza (of which there was very little) instead.
Thomas Hall has been a wrestling fan for over thirty years and has seen over 50,000 wrestling matches. He has also been a wrestling reviewer since 2009 with over 5,000 full shows covered. You can find his work at kbwrestlingreviews.com, or check out his- Amazon author page with 30 wrestling books. His latest book is KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews.
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