Lucha Underground
Date: September 7, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

We’re already back for the third season as the second felt like it ended in a hurry. Last season wrapped up with Dario Cueto being arrested in what felt like a mid-season finale and the very quick return backs up the theory that it wasn’t supposed to be the big ending. Hopefully we can get some resolution to the storylines here instead. Let’s get to it.

Dario Cueto is exercising in his jail cell when a guard lets him out. He’s given his personal objects back……by the Honky Tonk Man??? Dario gets in a limo where Councilman Delgado tells him that the charges have been dropped. The big boss, whoever that is, tells Dario to never waste his time again. Dario looks terrified.

The announcers welcome us to the show with Vampiro saying his only job is being an announcer.

Dario and Matanza are in the ring with the boss announcing Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Pentagon Dark. That brings Dario to his brother, who has destroyed everyone in his path. Dario has a new toy: Dario’s Dial of Doom. It’s a big wheel with wrestlers names on it. Whoever it lands on gets to face Matanza, provided they haven’t challenged for the title yet. Therefore, Mysterio isn’t eligible. It’s already time for the first spin.

Lucha Underground Title: Son of Havoc vs. Matanza

Matanza is defending. Havoc starts with the dropkick into the corner but a crossbody just bounces off the monster’s chest. A missed charge sends Matanza into the post and out to the floor as Striker compares the champ to Bruno Sammartino and Joe Louis. Havoc follows him out with an elbow around the post for a low blow. Dario is worried about his brother and says this should be baby food.

Back up and Matanza slams him down to set up a standing moonsault. A guillotine choke has Matanza in trouble and Havoc pulls him out to the floor again. Havoc grabs a cross armbreaker followed by something like a Lethal Injection. The shooting star only gets two and a quick Wrath of the Gods retains Matanza’s title at 7:20.

Result: Matanza b. Pentagon Dark – Wrath of the Gods (7:20)

PJ Black, Johnny Mundo, Jack Evans and Taya come in to see Dario with Mundo demanding a title shot. Dario says no because they recently lost the Trios Titles. We see the team laying out Angelico and crushing his leg in a car door. Dario still won’t give him a title shot so Mundo will settle for the Gift of the Gods Title. Still no, but Dario gives Taya a shot at Sexy Star instead.

Ivelisse is in the ring to talk about how Catrina cost her at Ultima Lucha. That means it’s time for a challenge to a match at Ultima Lucha Tres. Catrina appears on the balcony and says bring it on so Ivelisse says Catrina is dead.

Gift of the Gods Title: Taya vs. Sexy Star

Taya is challenging and Striker mentions that the Gift of the Gods Title has never been successfully defended. Taya grabs a front facelock and the announcers debate Johnny Smith vs. Johnny Saint.  Some double knees to the face gets two on Taya but she misses a moonsault. Star makes her comeback as Striker asks what would happen if Taya won the title instead of Mundo. Striker: “Sometimes there’s no time for pants.” Cue Mundo and company (the Worldwide Underground) but Evans collides with Taya to give Star the pin at 5:38.

Result: Sexy Star b. Taya – Small package (5:38)

Star gets beaten down until Fenix, Drago and Aerostar make the save.

Dario is on the phone when Marty the Moth comes in. Apparently Marty had some people help Dario in prison but Dario never wants his time in jail mentioned again. Marty wants to be Lucha Underground Champion but instead he gets Killshot next week in a Weapons of Mass Destruction match.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Pentagon Dark

They stare each other down to start until Rey sends him outside. That just earns him some chops but Pentagon stops to glare at the referee. The fans don’t seem sure who to cheer for as Pentagon was getting close to being the anti-hero last season but cut it off at the end. A big superkick drops Mysterio, only to have Pentagon take too much time on top and get hurricanranaed down.

Pentagon takes it outside again but Mysterio pops right back up with a tornado DDT on the floor. That earns Rey a pumphandle driver for two back inside with Striker going into a weird tangent about Rey having his kids’ college paid for and there being no reason for him to kick out. Another superkick blasts Rey but Pentagon stops to yell at Vampiro, who just sits and stares. Vampiro gets out of his chair and walks away as Mysterio escapes the package piledriver. The 619 and a middle rope Canadian Destroyer of all things puts Pentagon away at 8:34.

Result: Rey Mysterio b. Pentagon Dark – Canadian Destroyer (8:34)

Pentagon goes for Rey’s arm but Dragon Azteca Jr. makes the save.

Puma is thinking about the loss to Mysterio when Vampiro comes in and says Puma has been off since he lost to Mil Muertes. If Puma wants to be back to his old self, he needs to beat Muertes. Puma was expecting Vampiro to ask him to get rid of Pentagon but Vampiro says it’s all about Puma to end the show.

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