KB’s Review: You Wanna Rumble Too?

So it’s the holiday season and that means it’s time to start thinking of various wrestling related holidays that I can make up and compile for a column (a worldwide Christmas tradition that dates back to 1864). I was getting a few ideas set up….and then Stephanie McMahon announced the Women’s Royal Rumble for “Royal Rumble 2018”. As you might have guessed, things changed in a hurry and we have to take a look at the match in some way. I’m not wild on doing the same basic idea in back to back weeks but there’s not much of a way around it.

Therefore, today I’m going to be looking at who I think will be the thirty entrants in the match and how much chance they might have at winning. Now of course this is a glorified guess as we don’t know how many women will be in the match or who might show up as surprises. These are in no particular order as I made a list and will be picking one at random until we get to thirty. Kind of like the Rumble you see.

1. Nia Jax

We might as well start with a real threat to win. Jax is basically the Andre the Giant of this match as she’s bigger and stronger than anyone else, but it also means she’s likely to be ganged up on in a hurry. I could see Jax making a deep run in this thing but I can’t see her getting a title shot at “Wrestlemania XXXIV”. She has to win something at some point, though it’s not going to be in New Orleans.

Nia can hurt people.

Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss: Raw, Sept. 18, 2017

2. Sasha Banks

Dang it random number generator, stop giving me the top prospects so early. Banks is one of the names you always have to consider as she’s one of the top stars in the division and certainly one of the most popular. That being said, she’s had several moments already and having another one isn’t going to mean anything unless she actually holds onto the title for more than a few weeks at a time. She’s probably on the second tier of potential winners but certainly wouldn’t be a shock.

3. Mickie James

Now we’re getting somewhere. James is the perfect choice for someone to make a nice run but not get anywhere close to actually winning the thing. I know they’re pushing the idea of James eventually tying Trish Stratus for the most reigns in the company’s history (and she might get there someday) but for now, she’s there to make everyone else look good and she can do that quite well.

4. Sarah Logan

For the first time, I can flat out say this isn’t happening. Logan debuted about a month ago and has done a grand total of nothing, aside from having a funny accent and talk about hunting. She can be there to help support someone else but I can see Jax gorilla pressing her out as she gets rid of a bunch of people in succession. Logan was a nice idea but she needs some major upgrades before she’s going anywhere on the main roster.

5. Natalya

I’m assuming she’s going to be in this (you almost have to have a Hart in a first ever match), though her promo at “Clash of Champions 2017” might suggest otherwise. Either way, I have a feeling she’s going to wrestle a decent match but I’ll get bored watching her after about five minutes, which tends to be the norm for Natalya. It’s not like most people care about her anyway.

6. Ruby Riott

This is an interesting one and something WWE has to handle with care. Riott is a fresh face on the show and could be a big player, if nothing else due to her unique look. I could see her going somewhere in the future, though it’s still too early at this point. That being said, WWE would be smart to give her a strong run here and see how far she can go with it. There’s potential there but WWE could mess things up if they don’t give her at least a respectable performance here.

Just because you look different doesn’t mean you can’t be awesome.

Charlotte Flair vs. Ruby Riott: SmackDown LIVE, Dec. 12, 2017

7. Kaitlyn

No real reason here, other than I was trying to think of past names to make appearances and Kaitlyn came to mind. She’s 31 years old, retired about four years ago and is a former Divas Champion. It wouldn’t blow the roof off the place but really, aside from the biggest names of all, who else is there for a surprise? Kaitlyn could come in, spear someone, and be thrown out in short order. Simple and effective.

8. Tamina

So yeah, Tamina is here too. I’ve tried to find something worthwhile about her for years but aside from a decent Superfly Splash, there’s just not much there. Tamina can come in, do some power stuff, and then be eliminated. There’s not much else to say about her and that’s pretty much been the case for her entire career.

9. Carmella

Carmella is in a weird place due to being Ms. Money in the Bank (still a sweet nickname). Why would she get a title shot by winning the Royal Rumble when she could get a title shot anytime she wants? There’s no reason to think she’s going to win here, or that she’s going to be champion heading into “Wrestlemania XXXIV”, but hopefully the case is gone before then.

10. Bayley

Oh….Bayley. I feel so sorry for her as she was one of the top stars ever in NXT (and the top star for awhile) but the main roster has completely destroyed her for a variety of reasons. How you can manage to take someone who has superstar qualities and turn her into just another name for the sake of…..I’m not even sure for the sake of what actually is unacceptable. She’s not winning here and I’m scared to see how much of an afterthought she’s going to be.

11. Liv Morgan

Morgan is in a weird place due to being Ms. Mon….oh she’s not Carmella? You could have fooled me. Morgan is another case of being little more then cannon fodder and that’s just fine. She can be a lackey if she’s in there around the same time as Riott and there’s nothing wrong with filling that role. There’s a lot of work to be done with her, though I don’t think anyone is really assuming anything else. She’ll be fine, but it’s not her time yet.

12. Paige

I know this doesn’t seem like the most likely choice but I had to think about it for a few seconds. Paige is back with a vengeance and certainly has the resume to make this work. I think there are better options out there, but Paige winning wouldn’t be the biggest surprise in the world. She’s been solid since coming back and that could lead to a bigger push. I’m just not sure it’s happening here.

Here’s what Paige thought on the match being announced.

An emotional Paige reflects on the Women's Royal Rumble Match: Raw Fallout, Dec. 18, 2017

13. Ember Moon

This could be an interesting one, if nothing else just for the sake of seeing her hit an Eclipse to blow the roof off the place. Moon might not be the wisest choice to put in the match if you want to protect the NXT Women’s Title, but it would be cool to see her on the main roster, even if it’s just for a one off match. I’d be cautious, but I’d also be pleased if she showed up.

14. Mandy Rose

Much like Morgan, Rose is there as a warm body and little more. She can come in, kick a few people, maybe team up to eliminate someone, and then get tossed by a bigger star. That’s the kind of person you need in a match like this as not everyone is going to be a potential winner. If nothing else, Absolution can be a threat and Rose is a part of that team, but that’s pretty much her ceiling this time around.

15. Alicia Fox

Is there any other former champion who feels as inconsequential as Fox? I know she’s gotten somewhere with the slightly crazy act and she’s very athletic but you need a little more than that to make things work today. Fox isn’t winning here and is likely just going to be around for a comedy spot, which is pretty much what she’s best at these days. Well that and going move for move with Asuka for no logical reason whatsoever.

16. Lita

This is a long shot but honestly, given how much she’s been talking about the Revolution and how much of an influence she was on the current crop of women, I could see her getting a token spot in the match. Granted I could also see her not wanting to be in and therefore taking away the spotlight from the newer women. Lita is more of a wish list name but it would be so cool to see her in there.

17. Ronda Rousey

Oh come on you knew we were getting here at some point. I know the story at the moment is that Rousey is on a movie and won’t be done until February. There are two possible outs here. One: that’s a lie for the sake of a surprise. Two: she can get the schedule changed or make a one off appearance. It seems that Rousey is coming to WWE one day and this would be a heck of a debut. If she does show up here (big if) and doesn’t win, WWE is completely insane.

It could be real.

Ronda Rousey arrives at the WWE Mae Young Classic taping: July 13, 2017

18. Sonya Deville

Speaking of MMA, we have the rookie MMA character who is showing some promise. She isn’t ready to be a star yet but she’s the kind of person who could make an impact in this match without getting close to winning. Deville seems more like a role player than anything else but role players are incredibly valuable and while she’s not there yet, she could be one day. She’s not winning or getting close to winning here but she could weaken some of the potential winners.

19/20. Bella Twins

You know there’s a very good chance that a Bella or two will be around for something like this. After all, they’re two of the 194 people who claim to have created the Women’s Revolution and they probably need something to put on the next season of “Total Divas” or on their YouTube channel. If either of them show up, they’ll be treated as returning heroes, but I don’t think WWE is crazy enough to have either of them win.

21. Shayna Baszler

The Four Horsewomen are probably coming to WWE in the near future and it wouldn’t shock me to see Baszler get an appearance here. It would make a bit more sense than Kairi Sane, who is clearly being treated as a major project for the company. Let Baszler show up here, choke some people, and get eliminated in a big moment. It’s not a bad idea and while I know a lot of people would prefer Sane, I think Baszler is the right choice.

22. Naomi

She’s the first announced entrant into the match and a solid contender to win the whole thing. Naomi might not be everyone’s cup of tea but she’s gone from a background character to one of the top stars in the division (partially due to one of the most amazing entrances in the company). It’s cool to see her go somewhere and I could easily see her in the final four or even further.

Looks like she’s first.

Charlotte Flair and Naomi react to the Women's Royal Rumble Match: SmackDown LIVE, Dec. 19, 2017

23. Dana Brooke

I was a big fan of Brooke’s when she was down in NXT but my goodness it’s virtually impossible to defend her. She was called up WAY too soon and needed a lot more hands on coaching than she’s getting on the main roster. But since sending someone back down to NXT seems to be completely out of the question, Brooke is stuck drowning on the main roster and will be pure cannon fodder here.

24/25. Billie Kay/Peyton Royce

I know Royce has taken the lead in the team but you really can’t have one without the other. These two seem more than polished enough to make the jump and I could see one if not both of them making an appearance here. While I would have one of them win the NXT Women’s Title at some point in the future, seeing them on the main roster would be nice as well (albeit not as needed after the six recent debuts). Put them in here and see what they can do.

26. Becky Lynch

Lynch is pretty much the woman you have to keep an eye on no matter what is going on because she could always pull off a win. I’m not sure that’s going to be the case here but she’ll be relatively fresh off making a movie and I could see her getting the win to set up a major match. If nothing else, have someone eliminate her and set up her next feud that way. Lynch is definitely a player though and that’s very valuable to have.

27. Asuka

And now, in the lucky Royal Rumble spot, I think we have a winner. She may have lost a battle royal before but if there is one person who could tear this thing up and give us a showdown at “Wrestlemania XXXIV”, it’s Asuka. Charlotte defending the title against Asuka in front of 70,000 people is a near co-main event level match and an actual dream showdown, which is where I think this is going. If it’s not Rousey (and I’m really not expecting it to be), it’s going to be Asuka, as it should be.

Here is your winner.

Asuka vs. Dana Brooke: Raw Nov. 27, 2017

28. Lana

This is another case where WWE has failed in its thinking. For some reason they decided that Lana was ready for the ring after only a few months of matches in developmental. If it was that easy to get in the ring, so many more people would be doing it. There is a ton of potential in Lana as her looks and personality could carry her very far, but they’re not taking her anywhere near a win, let alone one of the biggest women’s matches of all time.

29. Bianca Belair

She’s not that well known but Belair could make a heck of an impact. I could very easily see her coming in during the middle of the match and showing off that hair whip (still can’t stand the thing) among some other athletic feats. She could be a big deal down the road and a standout performance here could be a great first step.

30. Aliyah

They need a final name to fill out the field and Aliyah is as good as anyone else. She’s got a good look, enough energy and has been around long enough to pop up in something like this. I’m not sure how much longer she’s going to be in WWE so let her have one big moment. It’s not like she’s doing anything else at the moment so throw her in there so Jax can dispatch her in short order.

Much like the men’s version of the same match, there are only a handful of realistic winners to be found. You really could go with a small handful of winners and I’m not sure that’s going to be enough to make this work. It’s certainly a novelty though and after everything else the women of WWE have done as of late, this was almost a requirement. I’ll have fun watching it, but things need to be done almost perfectly to make it work.

 

Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

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