Kickoff Show: Anderson and Gallows vs. Miztourage
This feels like a way to extend (Or is it start?) Miz vs. Finn Balor, and that’s not the worst idea in the world. I can always go for a battle of the goons, especially when Miz’s goons are very good at what they do. There’s a good chance this sets up a six man or just a singles match down the line and for a match that doesn’t have a lot of meaning to it, that should be just fine.
I’ll take the Miztourage as this feels like the kind of match where they would set you up for Gallows and Anderson to win easily and then throw in a swerve. Miztourage winning via cheating would make sense and draw Balor in, which seems to be the goal of the whole thing. This should be fine for an opener though and that’s all it needs to be.
Asuka vs. Nia Jax
Now this one doesn’t do much for me. The whole thing has been about Jax being the one to dethrone Asuka and end the undefeated streak and…..why would I believe that? We’ve been here multiple times with Jax now and she just doesn’t win the big matches. They’ve built her up as an unstoppable monster in both NXT and WWE and it’s the same thing every time.
So yeah, Asuka wins here and does so in the same manner she’s done it every single time now: survive Jax’s impressive offense and then win in the end with some kind of a hold. They’re not going to give her the Women’s Royal Rumble win and then lose the undefeated streak six weeks before “Wrestlemania XXXIV”. That doesn’t make sense and we’ve been here before. Stop with the same story.
Matt Hardy vs. Bray Wyatt
This is another match we’ve seen before and it’s already lost a bunch of its steam. Wyatt is the same person he’s been for years and Hardy is now feeling like he’s playing the Woken character rather than being the Woken character like he was back in TNA. The fact that we’ve already seen them fight doesn’t help either and now we’re watching them again, which doesn’t make me care about it any more.
I’ll take Wyatt to win here as Hardy is already down lower than he was when he became the new character in the first place. Wyatt could be built up for a “Wrestlemania XXXIV” match but Hardy is seeming more and more destined for some thrown together match. That’s not the most surprising thing, but maybe they’ll throw him a win here and give it one more try. I wouldn’t be stunned, but I’m really not expecting it.
Tag Team Titles: The Bar(c) vs. Titus Worldwide
This is a thing that’s happening too and while I get why (we’ll get to that in a minute), it’s not the most thrilling match around. Titus Worldwide has been built up as being able to beat the Bar (except that one time they didn’t) so there’s some drama, but it’s not like this is the most thrilling match in the world.
That being said, I’ll go with new champions in WWE’s effort to celebrate Black History Month. This wouldn’t be the biggest surprise in the world and that’s not a bad thing, as the tag division really needs some fresh blood. Giving Titus Worldwide the titles, even for a short while, would offer that fresh blood and you could always go back there later if necessary. For now though, the Bar loses but they’ll likely get the belts back soon enough.
Women’s Elimination Chamber
Here we have another of those firsts that WWE loves to do anymore and….yeah I really don’t see why they shouldn’t. The women’s division has been built up well enough to support something like this so why not do one? It’s not as big as the Royal Rumble last month but it also doesn’t feel tacked on for the sake of tacking it on. It’s better than the tag version in 2015 at least.
I’ll take Alexa Bliss to retain here because really, what other options are there? Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville are this match’s Carlito and Chris Masters, Mickie James isn’t winning anything anytime soon, and Bayley is a lost cause. I guess there’s a possibility of Sasha Banks winning it, but Jax vs. Bliss is about as logical of a match as you have for the title at “Wrestlemania XXXIV” so we’ll go with that.
Men’s Elimination Chamber
After this Monday’s insane gauntlet match, I can appreciate WWE trying to do something with this. Really, I can. The result has worked well enough too, as the obvious ending is still obvious but at least they’re giving us a reason to think something might be changing. The gauntlet match kind of gave it away, but at least they’re trying.
And of course Roman Reigns wins. Like really, what else are you expecting? It might take three or four spears to Braun Strowman, but Reigns is going to New Orleans whether we like it or not. Now, like I said, they’ve actually done a good job of making you believe it won’t happen and I completely applaud them for that. Before, ti’s been the most obvious result in the world from January on. Now it’s late February and we’re just getting to it, which should at least make things easier to sit through.
I’m really not feeling this show, but that’s more to wanting to get to the big build more than anything else. We have six weeks to go before “Wrestlemania XXXIV” and all I ask for here is some good action. Yeah the booking is pretty obvious, but just let us have something fun along the way. The Chambers should be worth seeing, but the rest of the card doesn’t exactly thrill me. Still though, things might be ok.
Oh and Ronda Rousey’s contract signing. That’s certainly a thing that’s happening too. I’m betting Stephanie McMahon gets involved and that’s the setup for “Wrestlemania XXXIV”, because we’re ALL looking forward to McMahon getting that moment that has eluded her for….well at least a few days by this point.
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