This Sunday the WWE is presenting its first Raw only pay per view with “Clash of Champions 2016” which has a pretty obvious theme. As the name suggests, all titles will be on the line but WWE has definitely been hinting at a different card if you watched this week’s “Monday Night Raw”. Today we’re going to look at the card that we should be seeing this Sunday if you go by what the show has been presenting. There might be a few other matches that I skip over but these are the important ones, at least according to WWE.
Stephanie McMahon vs. Seth Rollins
These two have been going back and forth for weeks now about who was responsible for the successes and/or failures of Rollins’ original run as WWE World Champion. There’s also the issue of McMahon not talking to her husband Triple H about anything that happened on the night Kevin Owens won the WWE Universal Title. The question now is whether or not Rollins can get the title back but in reality it’s can he prove the boss (or bosses as it’s not really clear) wrong.
I think I’ll take McMahon in this one as Rollins is only fresh off his knee injury and shouldn’t be going over a bigger name like McMahon. She’s one of the longest tenured WWE performers and has proven herself to be more than capable of crushing anyone in her path. Rollins is just fresh off a face turn that has been well received and that shouldn’t be much of a challenge for someone who has yelled at the likes of Sting, Brock Lesnar, Vince McMahon and Roman Reigns without having to bat an eye. So yeah, McMahon wins here and does her power walk up the ramp as she leaves.
Stephanie McMahon vs. Mick Foley
Now this is more the WWE’s style as we have a power struggle between the official boss of the show and her popular (not as popular as her of course because everyone loves McMahon) underling. These two have started to have some issues over Foley disagreeing with McMahon’s decisions, including suspending Rollins a few weeks back. Then again, Foley has seemingly already backed down from punishing Rollins for interfering in last week’s main event, likely due to a powerful stare from McMahon herself.
It’s probably a stretch but I have to go with McMahon again. If there’s one thing WWE knows how to do, it’s keep the big bosses around while getting rid of these young whippersnappers who dare to challenge the status quo. Foley is a hardcore legend and a bestselling author who reached his career peak in the most important era in wrestling history (at least according to WWE) but he’s up against a McMahon who is a self-made empowered woman and a mom of three kids who still finds time to work out exceptionally hard. How can he survive such odds?
Stephanie McMahon vs. Shane McMahon
This right here is probably the main event as they’ve been teasing it for years now. Everyone who watches WWE knows that rank as the most important topics all pale in comparison to the McMahon Family drama and Shane vs. Stephanie is the new hot feud. Stephanie is in charge of the more important show and appears far more often than Shane on “Smackdown Live”. However, Shane is the more popular of the two (or those pesky chants would have you believe) and therefore must be crushed.
Therefore, we’ll go with Stephanie again. She’s got the brains, the talent, the power and above all else, she’s STEPHANIE. How can anyone pick a guy who has matches and dives off big structures when you can pick someone who has a power walk and slaps the heck out of anyone that disagrees with her with no consequences whatsoever? Here’s how you sum it up: Stephanie yelled at Lesnar to his face and never had a problem. Shane on the other hand fought Undertaker and lost in the showdown. Would you want to support a loser like Shane when you can support someone as amazing as Stephanie? I would think not.
Stephanie McMahon vs. Roman Reigns
Now we’re getting into one of the bigger feuds at the moment with Reigns daring, yes DARING I SAY, to suggest that McMahon’s word didn’t mean much. Earlier this week on “Monday Night Raw”, McMahon guaranteed that Reigns would have a fair match against Owens in the main event. Reigns sarcastically said that meant a lot coming from her and seemed to roll his eyes a bit.
How dare he do that? On one hand you have a former WWE World Champion and someone who the company wants to treat at the future. On the other hand you have the Billion Dollar Princess who is also A MCMAHON. Who in the world does Reigns think he is to insult her like that? I’m not even going to bother predicting this one as the McMahon fire will engulf Reigns and crush him for good, or at least until he has another match on the show.
Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens/Rusev
Actually let’s just get Reigns out of the way right now. Since Reigns already beat Owens in a cage match on “Monday Night Raw” and has a feud going with Rusev at the same, it’s basically the two of them against the former Shield brigade in what should be a squash. Not once in this whole feud have I thought Rusev and/or Owens can beat Reigns or Rollins on their own so there’s really no reason to suggest that this match will go any differently. The Shield guys win, only for both of them to perish at the hands of our beloved leader.
That only leaves us with the main event.
Stephanie McMahon vs. Disease of the Month
This is one of those situations where the details don’t matter too much. Be it breast cancer, pediatric cancer, or whatever other disease there might be, the boss will be RIGHT THERE with a team of WWE lackeys to visit the sick in a hospital because that’s just what she does in her spare time when she’s not traveling around the world to speak at conferences, receive incredibly prestigious awards and running a billion dollar empire all on her own.
With mediocre names like New Day, Charlotte and Sasha Banks cheering her on from ringside, McMahon slaps whatever disease it is this month in the face and gives it a Pedigree to send us all home happy that night. If we’re lucky, she might even give us our own personalized Twitter hashtag so we can discuss it with all of our other wrestling obsessed friends and see it on the crawl across the bottom of the screen while we hear about how great she is again.
I know some of you might not see the card the same way I do, but if you regularly tune in to “Monday Night Raw”, these are clearly the important stories that we’re setting up. Maybe one day we can get the big feud of a Stephanie McMahon led “Monday Night Raw” against a Shane McMahon led “Smackdown Live” but until then we’re very lucky to get all Stephanie McMahon all the time because that’s what’s important, no matter how long the show feels or how low the ratings go.
Oh and there’s Sheamus vs. Cesaro because there’s always Sheamus vs. Cesaro. I pick Stephanie in a squash.
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